Saturday, January 26, 2008

Am I strange?

I am finding more and more things about me that others don't understand. Even things that my wonderful husband doesn't understand, though we've been married for 15 years. Things that my parents don't understand.

First, I am basically a lazy person. I love teaching my children to do household stuff, because it means that the more I get them to do, the less I have to do. That also means that many of my passions don't last any longer than I need them to last. Breastfeeding my children is still a passion, but was much more so when I was still doing it....for the whole 12 years I did it. Oh, and that was an easy decision to make...I'm too lazy to get up during the night, fix a bottle of artificial nutrition, and feed the baby...which also led to another passion...the family bed, which ended when my daughter started sleeping in her own bed.

I am amazed at how much time I have during the average day. When I was homeschooling, I had NO time. When I was working full-time outside of the home, I had NO time. Now that the kids are in school, and I am working from home, I have more time on my hands than I know how to handle. I don't have a lot of flexibility, because I have to be here to meet the school bus at lunch time, but I usually have plenty of time in the morning to get my fill of reading blogs, and writing my own posts for the day.

I REALLY don't like change. I don't like changing plans. I need warning. The more warning, the better. I have trouble when we move, because moving defines change. Change of address. Change of phone number. Change of church, places to shop, workplace, friends, new roads, new time zone.

BUT, I love moving. I get the itch...after a couple of years, I start feeling like "it's time!" It's an exciting chance to start over somewhere new, where we don't have a history. Where we can learn to know new people, and experience new things.

I am very much a conservative person...who likes to go against the grain. I'm modest. I'm traditional. I don't like doing things in the normal, traditional way.

I am a very insecure person. I can come across as with-it, and together, and secure...but I am NOT any of those, deep inside. New places scare me. I am shy. I have learned to cover all of that very well....my husband is a great motivator, and working at Walmart helped me be able to talk to people, even when I am shaking deep down inside my boots. Sharing all of this stuff about myself scares the willies outta me...but I want to do it.

Take it or leave it. I am a strange person....but this is me.

3 comments:

Kelly said...

You have six children and you homeschooled them all? God Bless You!

Thanks for checking out my blog.

tasha said...

I'll be strange with you, ha!! Let's see -- I'm so conservative I make my own self sick, lol; I can't do ANYthing unless it's planned (so last minute plans, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants goings on make me sick, I mean, literally, nauseaous); and I'm very shy, to the point that it gets mistaken for unfriendliness. So, if you're stange, then so am I!

tiff said...

No, you're not weird. You sound normal to me and if that's not normal then neither am I and alot of other women I know.