Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Livin' With Myself

I don't know about anyone else, but for me, there are days when being the loving wife, good mom and Christian I want to be is close to impossible. Today just happens to be one of those days.

I'm at the point in my cycle where I am emotional and questioning everything about my relationship with my husband, my friends, and the rest of my family...and especially questioning where I am with God. During this time, everything is weighed in the balances of my emotions, and EVERYTHING comes out wanting.

I KNOW I am my kids, by my husband, by my God. I know all of this.

I know that I am doing what I am supposed to do...taking care of my children, my house, my work...spending time with my husband, working on building our relationship. Spending time with my God, learning to know Him better. Growing to be a better person.

This time of the month, though, I doubt it all. I do not feel loved. I second guess everything I am doing. I feel alone. I wonder if I am headed back to depression.

I have to be reminded, over and over again that I AM where I am supposed to be, that I AM loved, that I DO belong, and that I DO have a future and a hope.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11


Mrs. Staff Sergeant said...

I think that is my very favorite bible verse. I've clung to it during the most difficult times of my life...

I know I've had times where I've felt a little like you're feeling now. (that "time of the month" certainly doesn't ever help anything either!)But it sounds like you have the right perspective on things. "This too shall pass" right? And you're so correct in that no matter what we're feeling or going through, God always loves us and has a plan.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you :)

baby~amore' said...

that is one of my favourites too ... I feel like this today too and a lot lately.

I feel abandoned my friends particularly.

Hugs to you Laura...
this, too, will pass and I pray the LOrd will renew a right spirit for both of us.

Bubba's Sis said...

One of my favorite verses, too. I call on it often for comfort and strength. I SO understand how you feel, and I'm praying that God will get you thru this in tact! We women go to dark places sometimes, but we always come out strong on the other side. Hang in there, sweetie.