Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Superstitious much?

From Dictionary.com:
Su-per-sti-tion [soo-per-stish-uhn]
1. a belief or notion, not based on reason or knowledge, in or of the ominous significance of a particular thing, cirucumstance, occurence, proceeding, or the like.
2. a system or collection of such beliefs.
3. a custom or act based on such a belief.

I've never thought of myself as superstitious. As a matter of fact, I have worked rather determinedly to eradicate any hint of superstition from my life. As a Christian, I believe that superstition should have no part in my life.

That said, I have noticed something very interesting as a military wife. Some of the most grounded women I know throw all of that out the window when it comes to dealing with the stresses that come with this lifestyle, especially where deployments are concerned. Talking about certain subjects are off-limits, not so much because they are painful, but more because of the if-you-don't-say-it-then-it-won't-happen mentality. Others have their own pet superstitions, but I was surprised to learn what mine was.

The last time my husband deployed, I was VERY new to the Navy lifestyle...he had been active duty for just over a year. I was the Ombudsman for the ship, and had a brand new baby (one week old) and five other children. We were 19 hours away from any family. And boy did the deployment gremlins wreak havoc in my life. I dealt with more during that deployment than I *ever* expected. I hemorrhaged, the car windshield broke, the washer broke down, I broke my foot, my 2-year-old broke his collar bone...and more...in that short, SHORT four month deployment.

This time around, the deployment is longer. The children are older. My life is crazier. MUCH crazier. First of all, I find myself hoping that I got all of the deployment gremlins out of the way with that other deployment. Logic does not play into that much, considering that the first deployment was close to nine years ago. Nor, apparently, does clear thinking. I surprised myself the other day with not only the "if-I-don't-talk-about-it" type of thinking, but also with one that I'd heard from others, but never expected to come out of my mouth.

I don't even remember who I was talking to, or how it came up, but there was some discussion of a difficult situation, and the comment was made that, "it could be worse, you know." Without even thinking, out tumbled my latest deployment superstition. "Don't even say that...because it can and will get worse." Really? I said that?

Now, logically, I know the above statement is true. Things CAN get worse. In all likelihood, they will. (they already have, since that discussion...more on that at another time). That's not the point of this discussion. My point is that I made that thought into a superstition. Somehow in my head, it became one of those "don't say it and it won't happen" type of things.

The thing is, I KNOW that the opposite is true. If I can talk through something, I know it will never turn out as bad as I fear it will be. Even WHEN it happens. Maybe this is some coping mechanism on my part. I don't know. Deployment gremlins happen. Even when no one is deployed...they just seem worse now that he's gone than they do when I have someone here to share the load. But, now that I recognize yet another superstition, it is time for me to root it out.

So, fellow MilSpouses...what is your favorite superstition? How do you deal with these illogical beliefs?

1 comment:

Tara Anderson said...

Hmm...I'm going to have to think about that one! None come to mind, but these things have a way of sneaking up on you! :)