...when you wonder why you bothered getting out of bed?
...when you are amazed that your children made it out of the house alive, never mind dressed and fed?
...when you teeter on the edge of road rage, simply because there is a road and other drivers are on it?
Yeah, no, me either. Ha.
This is one of those mornings. I want to run away. Far, far away. I want to beat on walls. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Would you believe that ramming other cars off the road actually went through my mind this morning?!? (Probably NOT good to do, since I was surrounded by HUGE pickup trucks, and I was driving Jason's little Honda Civic!). I want to kick the dog AND the cat.
I haven't done any of those things. Not even close. But the fact that I feel this way and that these thoughts are even going through my mind is telling a tale of stress over-load. I am TIRED, beyond belief. I am stressed by school. And kids. And bills. And taking care of the physical side of being and doing all by myself for now. Did I mention that I was tired?
So, this morning, instead of ramming those huge trucks off the road, I yelled at God. "WHY AM I SO GRUMPY?!?" (I was in the car, by myself...I hope nobody heard me.) I didn't hear any voices. I didn't get rescued. (Oh, how I long to be rescued from the housework, the homework, the yard work, etc.).
Instead, I was reminded of a few things. First, that THIS is exactly when I need to put on my big-girl-pants, and deal. My feelings are lying to me. I KNOW my husband loves me. I KNOW that I will live through this semester. I KNOW that my children will be fed, and clothed, and will get to and from school. I just have to pick up and keep going. Second, I have to keep working to take care of me. Actually eating, and sleeping, and showering, and meeting with those responsible for keeping my head squarely on my shoulders. Finally, I DO have friends who want to help...if I can just figure out how, and ask them. Or meet them for lunch....in 2 1/2 hours...
Better get moving...the shower is calling...and Olive Garden. Yum. Must move.
(God, thank you for those reminders this morning!)