tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22813448989812500112024-03-13T16:07:20.979-04:00Team PaxtonA day in the life of a Mom of SixUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger643125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-1256196323187453782020-12-29T00:48:00.003-05:002020-12-29T01:15:17.482-05:00Control vs Faith (2020 in review)<p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pWHRisrUlME/X-rJICgpU2I/AAAAAAAAFAw/K_XE0VT431MAMIHrNkZ39ZmgoNlTntV3ACLcBGAsYHQ/s640/IMG_7548.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pWHRisrUlME/X-rJICgpU2I/AAAAAAAAFAw/K_XE0VT431MAMIHrNkZ39ZmgoNlTntV3ACLcBGAsYHQ/w200-h150/IMG_7548.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />So very much of this year has felt chaotic and out of control. A recent discussion reminded me that we strive to live by faith but often end up doing the opposite in our attempts to control every aspect of our lives. <p></p><p>As a reminder, the news this year has been replete with events outside of our control:<br /></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Presidential impeachment and elections</li><li>more than 30 names hurricanes</li><li>wildfires in Australia and the Western US</li><li>"murder hornets"</li><li>many celebrity deaths, including Kobe Bryant and Ruth Bader Ginsburg</li><li>volcano eruption in the Philippine Islands</li><li>plane crashes in Tehran and Pakistan</li><li>earthquakes in Mexico and Turkey</li><li>flooding in China, India, and Nepal</li><li>train derailment in China</li><li>pandemic and economic and mental health impacts. </li></ul><div>On a more local scale, the town where we live has seen a huge upsurge in gang and drug violence, and a huge negative impact on the mental health of many. </div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, in the Paxton family, we have had a busy year. Currently in the home are:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Jason - on terminal leave from the Navy</li><li>Laura - currently working at Walmart</li><li>Justin - 20-year-old college sophomore</li><li>Leah - 18-year-old college freshman</li><li>Kyah - 18-year-old high school senior</li><li>Katherine - 17-year-old high school junior</li></ul><div>Jason is in the middle of transitioning from military life after 21 years in the Navy. After so long living under the very regimented life dictated by military service, this transition is proving to be a challenge to our faith. In addition to completing his duties, he has had multiple doctors' appointments, a reconstruction of his foot (with subsequent physical therapy), and is working to find another job. We trust that God will provide and guide to the next place for him. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>Laura started the year with two jobs, one of which went "virtual" in March, and she was then fired in July. Fortunately, Walmart had plenty of available extra hours, which has more than made up for the income lost. </div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vn_pQln273w/X-rJIiwRjfI/AAAAAAAAFBA/T-l8wZxrvH0mvqeN9NLovhh-s8P6uIDmACLcBGAsYHQ/s640/katherine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vn_pQln273w/X-rJIiwRjfI/AAAAAAAAFBA/T-l8wZxrvH0mvqeN9NLovhh-s8P6uIDmACLcBGAsYHQ/w150-h200/katherine.jpg" width="150" /></a></div></div><div>Justin is currently in the middle of his sophomore year at Millikin University and is still working part-time at Starbucks. </div><div><br /></div><div>Leah graduated from high school in June and was able to start at Millikin University in the fall, studying Art Therapy. She is also working at Starbucks. </div><div><br /></div><div>Kyah has finally found a job that she likes and is finishing up her senior year in high school. </div><div><br /></div><div>Katherine is a high school junior, as a homeschooler, and dearly missing her other social interactions. </div><div><br /></div><div>The remainder of the children are in other places and are doing well. <br /><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Frances and Nick will be welcoming another son in May, soon after Charles' 2nd birthday. They are in Massachusetts.</li><li>Jon stays busy with landscaping and waiting tables in Virginia Beach, VA. </li><li>Heather and Darien are in Southern Illinois, and are planning a wedding for September, 2021.</li></ul><div>Other random events:<br /><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>1 more Drivers' License</li><li>1 more Learner's Permit</li><li>3 cars changed owners</li><li>many health crises</li><li>Zoom meetings</li><li>virtual, online, hybrid school</li><li>work-from-home</li><li>essential worker</li><li>thousands of potential COVID exposures</li><li>10 negative COVID tests</li></ul><div>Through all of the chaos and upheaval this year has seen, we are reminded that God is in control of every aspect of our lives, especially when things are out of our control. We don't know what 2021 will hold for us, where we will be, or when things will feel "normal" again. Thankfully, we know that God knows. </div></div></div><p></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-22372072450317885842019-12-25T18:03:00.001-05:002019-12-25T18:04:29.240-05:00Christmas, 2019Merry Christmas!!<br />
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Time for the annual updates....<br />
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January 2019 involved a 12-hour drive to and from South Carolina for Laura and Katherine to spend two weeks at the hospital with where my mother slowly emerged from a diabetic crisis, and from which she went (in February) to a nursing facility.<br />
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February saw Jason and me celebrating my 50th birthday aboard the Carnival Triumph with our friends Ken and Emily, with stops in Cozumel and Progresso, Mexico. <br />
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In March, we went to Milwaukee, WI, for a Yellow Ribbon workshop for Sailors who had been deployed to process the impacts the deployment had on themselves and their relationships.<br />
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April saw Katherine and me on the road again, spending 3 weeks in the Boston area awaiting the birth of our first grandchild. Charles Judah finally arrived on April 25th. During that time all of the rest of the family was able to come for a week with Frances and Nick.<br />
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May was relatively uneventful for most of the family, though Justin was able to spend some time in New Orleans with his friend Jayden, celebrating Jayden's high school graduation.<br />
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June included my mother's death after 6 months of battling for her life, and a trip to South Carolina for her memorial service. In addition, Katherine and Leah went to Cincinnati, OH, for our church's annual trip to work in an inner-city neighborhood.<br />
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July was a lot of working, and enjoying the summer days, a trip to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway for the Indi 500 and preparing for a family trip in August. Also, Leah became a "Certified Barrista" at Starbucks, and Justin started working there, as well.<br />
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August saw almost the whole family gathered in South Carolina for a few restful days of family, friends, swimming, and pictures. While we were gone to SC, Heather moved out to her new apartment in Carbondale, IL, where she is managing a Journey shoe store.<br />
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September was busy, with Jason having surgery on September 11....<br />
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...and a trip to Virginia Beach for me to attend our nephew's wedding...<br />
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...with a huge plus of seeing a whole lot of friends AND our son!!<br />
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We were also able to make another trip to Indianapolis for the Indy 400, and to spend some time with Jason's cousins.<br />
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October was our 27th wedding anniversary and the 28th anniversary of our dating, with a date to one of our favorites.<br />
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November was also very full....<br />
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At the beginning of the month, Jason and I were in Great Lakes and Chicago for a Navy Retirement workshop for a week.<br />
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While there, we were able to see some friends...<br />
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...Justin was in the local production of the musical "All Shook Up", loosely based on Elvis Pressley's music.<br />
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Heather and her boyfriend Darien were able to come to visit for part of the day for Thanksgiving.<br />
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In December, Leah and Justin finished their school semesters (both did very well), and Leah is now officially finished with her high school work and will be moving into her first semester of being an official college student. I got a job (FINALLY!) working in a private practice as a counselor, and we again had a full table for Christmas lunch today, with Kyah, Heather, and Darien, as well as Jason and I, Justin, Leah, and Katherine.<br />
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Here's praying that 2020 will be less eventful, but also full of great memories!! <br />
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-87976732191608692222019-07-14T21:49:00.002-04:002019-07-14T21:49:52.582-04:00LonelyLonely doesn't even begin to cover where I am today. <br />
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I'm sad. <br />I'm grieving. <br />I'm angry. <br />
I'm afraid...afraid that I'm on the edge of depression...afraid that a terrible injustice is going to ruin our lives...afraid that evil will prevail. <br />
I'm overwhelmed. <br />
And, yes, I am LONELY. <br />
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I am so VERY lonely. <br />
Yes, there are friends. <br />
And yes, I can talk to some of them about some of the things. <br />
But, really I don't have anyone with whom I can talk about ALL of the things. <br />
<br />
So I pray...my heart bleeds...my eyes leak...my chest feels heavy...my brain feels tired. <br />
And I know He hears...<br />
...which is comforting...<br />
...but still I am lonely. <br />
<br />
Because right now, I need someone with skin on to be Jesus to me...<br />
...to wait for answers with me...<br />
...to be parent-like to me...<br />
...to hug me while I cry...<br />
...to insist that I eat when I feel more like vomiting from the stress...<br />
...to help me laugh...<br />
...to distract me.<br />
<br />
Lonely. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-69030798382052187392019-06-13T10:41:00.001-04:002019-06-13T11:02:01.471-04:00Today's News <div class="yiv9130373347MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2228; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">May, 1987</td></tr>
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Due West - Lynn Hestir Wegener, 74, died Wednesday, June 12, at AnMed Health in Anderson, following a brief illness.</div>
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Lynn is survived by Joseph, her husband of 52 years, her brother Brad Hestir and sister Lee Hestir Silver of western NC, sons David and James, daughters Laura and Naomi, 8 grandchildren and one great-grandson, and numerous family and friends. She is preceded in rest by her brother Brent and son John.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">January, 2019</td></tr>
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Raised in Texas, Lynn developed an early passion for literature and languages, earning a degree from Eckerd College. She employed her linguistic skills in numerous local papers and periodicals, teaching at local public and private schools and colleges, and in homeschooling her children. Lynn also instilled a deep love for arts, language, science, and the Bible through daily readings to her family.</div>
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Lynn wrote, edited, and published articles in publications throughout upstate SC, including The Abbeville Press and Banner, The Honea Path Chronicle, Organic Gardening, Mother Earth News, and various other periodicals.</div>
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Lynn enjoyed volunteering with the American Red Cross, where her linguistic skills in Spanish, Russian, and German were used. She and Joe also sponsored multiple refugee families from southeast Asia and former Communist countries throughout the 80s and 90s, providing homes, jobs, and teaching English.</div>
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A graveside service is held on June 13 in Due West, and a memorial service will be at Temple B’nai Israel in Anderson June 16th at 4:30 pm.</div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-15563036238854371682019-06-07T00:21:00.000-04:002019-06-07T00:21:50.001-04:00Life goes on...and other indisputable facts...<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mayan ruins in Progresso, Mexico</td></tr>
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It has been more than a year since we arrived in Illinois, and took up residence in what can only be described as the stinkiest town I have ever experienced. <br /><br />We have found an incredible church family, made friends, are part of a small group, are involved in music, and ministry, and school, and jobs...mine, Jason's, Heather's, Justin's, Leah's...Katherine is the only one who has yet to acquire a job...not for lack of desire. <br /><br />This year has been FULL.<br />
January saw me and Katherine driving 12 hours to South Carolina, to spend the next two weeks while my mother was in the hospital, and then driving 12 hours back in a snowstorm.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cruise pic</td></tr>
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February is my birthday month...this year was my 50th, and Jason and I went for a cruise with some friends to Cozumel and Progresso, Mexico. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cruise pic</td></tr>
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<br />March was the month Jason and I went to Milwaukee, WI, for a weekend workshop for veterans who had been deployed, and visited with friends from our Bible college years who minister in Racine, WI. <br /><br />April 17th was the due date for our grandson, though he didn't arrive until the 25th. Everyone was able to spend some time in Massachusetts, and I was privileged to be there for the birth, and act as doula. Then Katherine and I drove 16 hours back to Illinois so I could be back at work. <br /><br />May is Indy 500 month...Jason and I were able to go for the first time, and he was honored to be included in some of the pre-race hoopla...and apparently ended up on TV. We also had a visitor for a week, Justin spent a week in Louisiana for his best friend's graduation, and Jason was able to go back to Massachusetts to see the grandson for the first time. <br /><br />Meanwhile, Leah and Katherine finished up another school year. Justin started classes at the local community college and has started the application process for some other schools. Heather is working as a Manager-in-Training/Co-manager for her store. Jon is still in Virginia Beach, working 2, or 3, or 4 jobs. Frances and Nick are adjusting to life with a not-so-little new baby, and Frances is getting ready to go back to work...trying to figure out daycare logistics. <br />
<br />Still waiting for life to slow down a little...someone please let me know when that happens!!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jason wearing his Quilt of Valor</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Four of the kids together in Massachusetts</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Frances and baby boy Charles Judah</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Justin went to visit his best <br />friend in New Orleans</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Charles Judah...what a handsome little man!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Charles Judah is 1 month old!</td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-67210155327468359322018-02-17T13:15:00.001-05:002018-02-17T13:15:10.816-05:00Observations: On moving, and getting settled-in<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AXTKZ3Q8kSc/Wohuv1bI1GI/AAAAAAAAEzo/e4pSWQDtNr4BfMANnqxL-FashYp1iCxEwCLcBGAs/s1600/move%2Bpic%2B3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AXTKZ3Q8kSc/Wohuv1bI1GI/AAAAAAAAEzo/e4pSWQDtNr4BfMANnqxL-FashYp1iCxEwCLcBGAs/s200/move%2Bpic%2B3.JPG" width="150" /></a>As a preface, I tell clients that my training is in making observation of patterns of behavior and thought, and drawing educated conclusions from those observations. That is how I think...I observe patterns. <br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PNzWG7Uskko/Wohuwo7XLUI/AAAAAAAAEzs/waM4tNLADNoEwSvtuA68wtGce4iYwysQwCLcBGAs/s1600/move%2Bpic%2B1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PNzWG7Uskko/Wohuwo7XLUI/AAAAAAAAEzs/waM4tNLADNoEwSvtuA68wtGce4iYwysQwCLcBGAs/s200/move%2Bpic%2B1.JPG" width="150" /></a><br />
The topic of moving is VERY fresh and on my mind, since we are in the settling-in phase of a move. We are feeling our way around a new area, learning streets, where the good restaurants are, where to grocery shop, finding doctors, and gas stations, and church, and friends. This is always a mixed bag of sadness, and excitement, and anxiety. <br />
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From the moment of arrival at the new, empty house, all the way through until the last box is unpacked (HA!!), this process is hard. We are exhausted from whatever travel we have had to do. We are all overworked with the packing process, cleaning out the old place, disposing of things that didn't make the cut, and saying farewells to places and people who have been important to us. We are emotionally wrung-out from everything, and on edge about what the newest adventure will hold. <br />
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We are a military family. By usual standards, we move a LOT. In counting back over 26 years, Jason and I have lived in 18 different houses, in 6 states. We have a lot of experience with what it takes to get through a move. We may be short with each other, and grumpy, and eat too much pizza, but we survive each and every move. <br />
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In addition to all of the newness of a new state, new service providers, new environs....the hardest is always the making of new friends. We are ALWAYS the outsiders. This is harder on some family members than others....the more extroverted family members tend to find it easier to jump in with both feet, seeming to instantly make connections, while others take a while to warm up to and make friends with these new people. Some areas seem to make it more difficult to make friends...perhaps being less used-to having military families around means that there is less expectation of making quick connections. As a military family, we KNOW the importance of making connections quickly, both of the networking variety, and of the friendship variety. <br />
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We were sitting around our dining table the other night, talking about expectations, and how challenging it is that our expectations are ALWAYS wrong. This is something I have struggled with for the entirety of our married life, and applies very aptly to this discussion. In all of our 18 different locations, I have had expectations based on others' experiences of moving....the proverbial "welcome-to-the-neighborhood cookies/pie/meal". That has NEVER happened. NOT ONE TIME. Never has anyone noticed the moving vans and come to knock on the door to even say "welcome". NOT ONE TIME. <br />
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Now, I know this is not a universal experience. I know that there ARE welcoming people, and that those stereotypes/expectations are there for a reason...there ARE places and times that this happens. It just has not happened for our family. And that is a challenge for me...because some day, we will no longer be the perpetually-new people on the block, and I can be the one sending over cookies, and inviting the new neighbors for dinner or coffee. <br />
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I genuinely look forward to that day!! <div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-91317405381412981342018-01-05T00:11:00.001-05:002018-01-05T00:11:49.216-05:00On house-hunting, educational choices, and discrimination There is an issue rolling around in my head that is somewhat new to me, and so I am going to try to process this here on paper. Forgive me if this seems rambly. <br />
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I know there are some of you who will laugh, and say, "Girl, WHERE have you been?!? This is NOT a new issue!" Forgive me...this has not been on my radar, AT. ALL. Though, to be honest, it probably should have. Just chalk this up to my privilege showing....<br />
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I know a LOT of people who try to claim that racism no longer is a major part of this country's makeup, and that discrimination is rare. I beg to differ.... <br />
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In looking for houses, one big thing to consider, as a parent with children in school, is the quality of the school district, and of the individual schools. There is a rating system, and it is easy to quickly see how well a school scores because those scores are included on the websites with the houses that are advertised. <br />
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So, we've been looking at houses, and by extension, looking at schools, for the last two months. And I saw something that really has bothered me. In the areas of town where the rent is the lowest, and there are a large number of rental homes available, the schools scored the lowest (and by lowest, I mean the worst). In the area zoned for the "good" schools, there is practically NO rentals available, and even though we are SOLIDLY middle-class, we couldn't afford to buy the homes that were available. <br />
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I KNOW. Schools get money based on their tax base. I know that's how they are paid-for. I get it. <br />
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I just want to know, if there is no classism, no racism, no discrimination, why children from lower-income families don't get the same priority for a quality education as those from homes with higher incomes? Are their educations less important? Is there somehow less value to them attaining a good education? <br />
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Methinks there is something rotten in the state of Denmark....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-77694749442859331602018-01-03T21:38:00.000-05:002018-01-03T21:38:06.367-05:00Inside my head (during a PCS move) "I'm sorry, ma'm. You have what is known as 'major-move-itis'. There is no treatment for this. You just have to ride it out, and hope for the best." <br /><br />Every time we move, I feel like I have come down with the worst sickness known to man. <br />No one wants to do things with me because I am moving. <br />Heck, I don't want to do things with me....I don't like who I am when I am preparing for a move. <br />I am anxious...so much to do in so little time. <br />
I am going to forget something, so I am hyper-focused. <br />
I beat myself up about how messy the house is. <br />I beat myself up about how much stuff has accumulated in the 2.5/3/4/7 years we have been in this place. <br />I want to spend all the time with all the people. <br />
I want to hibernate...sleeping away the time will make it pass more quickly, right?!?<br />
I feverishly try to get all the things done.<br />
I feverishly attempt to avoid doing all the things. <br />
<br />
Internally, it is no better. <br />
I'm a ball of nerves. <br />
Emotions well up at the most inopportune times. <br />
I get overwhelmed easily. <br />
I show my anxiety as anger, and impatience. <br />
I have gotten better over the years, but my poor husband used to bear the brunt of my move-emotions. <br />
<br />
This time, we have a forced day off a week before the movers arrive. <br />
There is a BLIZZARD forecast for tonight. EVERYTHING will be closed tomorrow. There is really NOTHING we can do...no going out to return things, or get rid of things. I mean, I WILL continue washing curtains and boxing them up, and planning what needs to go out next trash day, and trying to sell off 5 window AC units, a dryer, and 39 extra gift bags, among other things...but I can (and WILL) do that from the comfort of my office, in my jammies and warm slippers....with a hot cup of tea. <br /><br />Please pray for a smooth-ish transition over the two weeks.... we need it!! <div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-47062791514664228342017-12-31T15:54:00.000-05:002017-12-31T15:54:05.400-05:00A tale of two gifts You never know what it is that people will remember about you, what thing it is that you do that will make their day special. <br />
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One Christmas, more than 30 years ago, a young girl and her mother were given luxurious bathrobes. To the young girl, this gift was special, showing a recognition of growth, maturing, and love from a family member. To her mother, who received a robe identical in all but color, the gift was an opportunity to complain. <br /><br /><br />
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Fast forward through teen years, college, the births of 6 children, and 25 years of marriage, and the original robe was MUCH worse for wear. <br />
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When queried about what I would like for Christmas this year, I said I would like a nice robe, which I was given. The bonus is in the color.... <br />
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To the two family members who blessed me with almost identical bathrobes, 35 years apart, thank you. Your gifts mean more than you know.... <br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-82532699015540420252017-11-29T20:27:00.000-05:002017-11-29T20:27:28.216-05:00Observations1. I have learned in more than 20 years of observing military families that it is not the act of service that shapes the life of the children of those who serve, but rather the character of the person doing the service.<br />
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2. If I come to you acting/feeling needy, it is because I feel like there might be something fundamentally wrong with how I interact with the world. I don't need judgment. I need you to reassure me that I am normal and/or show me a more effective way.<br />
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3. Socializing by financial strata isolates from some pretty amazing people, and makes you see things through a very small window that blinds you to most of the rest of the world's perspective.<br />
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4. There are crappy people at every level. More money will not make them better people, and less money does not make them worse people. More money means they have more leverage to hide who they really are at heart, so they can manipulate more readily.<br />
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5. People say things as platitudes, but their words mean nothing, and often are more painful to the hearer than to have said nothing at all. Silence truly is golden. Or, as my mother used to say, "Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it."<br />
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6. People are lazy on social media. Very few research anything. Most just repost without checking veracity, and often react without thinking through what they have read, not looking at it from any perspective besides their own. <br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-29784481988655475042017-11-25T19:48:00.001-05:002017-11-25T19:48:48.903-05:00Change is coming.... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There is always news of change, some unexpected, but always change.<br />
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It will not be news to anyone that we have been waiting for orders for MONTHS. Forever is a LONG time to spend in limbo...but flexibility is something we are no strangers to....<br />
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And now we actually have news!! ORDERS!!<br />
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And so...<br />
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We're doing things....<br />
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...and looking for housing... and a job (for me), and figuring out schools, and a church, and doctors, and hair stylists.... </div>
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...because we're headed to.... </div>
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Can't wait to say "See ya later!" to Massachusetts!! </div>
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Actual dates are not very far in the future...the Navy procrastinated as long as they could, so we will be leaving in early January. </div>
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-400627863059018352017-11-12T22:26:00.000-05:002017-11-12T22:27:06.810-05:00Stepping up to say ENOUGH I'm sure most of the US, and for sure a small community in Texas are still reeling from the after-shocks of the shooting that happened almost a week ago. As I struggle to make sense of the deaths of half of that small country church, I have been reading media accounts, testimonies of family members, of the two community heroes who stopped the gunman, and the background of the man who did this.<br />
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This is my attempt to assimilate everything I know so far....<br />
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The gunman was dishonorably discharged from the Air Force after being convicted and serving time for domestic abuse of his wife and infant stepson. The Air Force admits that they neglected to pass along this information to the agencies who should have been alerted, making it possible for him to purchase the guns he used. (sources: <a href="https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/11/10/air-force-missed-at-least-two-chances-to-stop-texas-shooter-from-buying-guns/23273412/" target="_blank">here</a>, <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/US/air-force-secretary-texas-shooters-offenses-reported-fbi/story?id=51049303" target="_blank">here</a>, <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-air-force-texas-church-shooting-20171110-story.html" target="_blank">here</a>)<br />
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The details of what he did, and why he did it, and who was killed, and who was injured, and how he was stopped are available all over the internet with only the most cursory search. Those things are not really what is most concerning to me.<br />
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In the wake of this horrific crime, people again are asking "WHY?!?" Why are white men, in one of the wealthiest countries in the world, doing terrible things to powerless people?<br />
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These questions always make me start looking for patterns, which is what I am trained to do. Patterns of behavior help us figure out why things like this happen, and what can be done to prevent further bloodshed.<br />
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Too often, people think there is no tie between the "lone wolf" gunmen across our nation. "They acted alone" is the report on the news. While that may be true, there is a disturbing link between most of them that is often overlooked, underreported, and most often completely ignored. That link is a history of domestic violence.<br />
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This gunman abused his wife and stepson.<br />
In Texas, in the last 7 years, there are nine more incidents (at least) where groups of 4 or 5 family members and friends were killed by someone with a history of domestic violence (<a href="https://www.salon.com/2017/11/07/texas-church-shooting-and-domestic-violence-a-large-and-disturbing-pattern/" target="_blank">source</a>).<br />
It doesn't just happen in Texas. <br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 17px;">While perpetrators of domestic violence account for only about 10 percent of all gun violence, they accounted for</span><a href="https://everytownresearch.org/reports/mass-shootings-analysis/" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #5076b8; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;">54 percent</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 17px;"> of mass shootings between 2009 and 2016, according to the advocacy group Everytown for Gun Safety, so there is a disproportionate link, Webster tells Kodjak. (<a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/11/07/562387350/in-texas-and-beyond-mass-shootings-have-roots-in-domestic-violence" target="_blank">source</a>). </span></blockquote>
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In working with victims of domestic violence, one shocking statistic shows that the most dangerous time for a woman escaping a violent and controlling man is AFTER she has already left the relationship. THAT is when she is most likely to be killed. (More statistics at this <a href="https://ncadv.org/statistics" target="_blank">link</a>).<br />
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AND YET...<br />
The typical woman tries to leave a violent relationship SEVEN times before she is successful.<br />
Why don't they leave sooner?<br />
- - They have been alienated from their friends and family by their abuser.<br />
- - They are afraid people won't believe them this time.<br />
- - Fear of retaliation by the abuser.<br />
- - For Christians, they are often told to stay in the relationship.<br />
- - Fear of losing their children.<br />
- - Fear of homelessness.<br />
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This is a complicated issue.<br />
Women and children need to be protected.<br />
Violent men need to be redirected, to be stopped from continuing the abuse.<br />
Churches need to know how to respond.<br />
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HOW TO RESPOND<br />
This morning, our pastor talked about security for our very large church, and how there is a concerted effort to keep those attending services as safe as possible. This is a NEEDED response. But it is NOT enough.<br />
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Our church also is affiliated with a ministry to women, providing a safe and confidential resource for women who are in abusive relationships. This is a NEEDED response. But it is NOT typical for churches across the country.<br />
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This week I posed a question on Facebook, asking my MANY pastor-friends what their policies are for dealing with domestic violence. I got ONE response...from a female pastor...and NONE from male pastors, though they outnumber female pastors by a large majority. I want to give the benefit of the doubt, and recognize that they may have been preparing for the weekend's services...but I'd still like to hear from them, at least an acknowledgement that this needs to be on their radar. Because, as we saw last week, domestic violence unchecked affects us all, even in the church...maybe ESPECIALLY in the church.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-82901960758379518662017-10-16T09:19:00.000-04:002017-10-16T09:19:10.654-04:00A Momentous Occasion...I have a LOT of thoughts today...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HnbmZ1Hk_cY/WeStDA8eVtI/AAAAAAAAExc/ZTus6YuqZg8DDquPL365AFRoXhOGUqoGACLcBGAs/s1600/us%2B1st%2Bpic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="228" data-original-width="243" height="187" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HnbmZ1Hk_cY/WeStDA8eVtI/AAAAAAAAExc/ZTus6YuqZg8DDquPL365AFRoXhOGUqoGACLcBGAs/s200/us%2B1st%2Bpic.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First picture together</td></tr>
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How does one celebrate 25 years together? <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Hixf875vYA0/WeSvaUlnFNI/AAAAAAAAExo/_l3IfhNj5EgGdaePUmsVoJLuU0VYjcIvQCLcBGAs/s1600/us%2B1992.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="357" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Hixf875vYA0/WeSvaUlnFNI/AAAAAAAAExo/_l3IfhNj5EgGdaePUmsVoJLuU0VYjcIvQCLcBGAs/s320/us%2B1992.jpg" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">1992?</td></tr>
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How do you look back and look forward at the same time? <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-m-ZzlAszTsw/WeSm5wzQvSI/AAAAAAAAExQ/h1lpyBlRGPAjQysbyrDk1der1AITqqAiwCLcBGAs/s1600/wedding%2Bwalk%2Bpic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1054" data-original-width="1600" height="131" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-m-ZzlAszTsw/WeSm5wzQvSI/AAAAAAAAExQ/h1lpyBlRGPAjQysbyrDk1der1AITqqAiwCLcBGAs/s200/wedding%2Bwalk%2Bpic.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">October 17, 1992</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nE_sHRPJH3E/WeSwSYuKuYI/AAAAAAAAEyQ/1LpzR1aocUId_L57b7_XJrnks8Lt4bZdQCLcBGAs/s1600/us%2Bwedding%2Bcake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="425" data-original-width="424" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nE_sHRPJH3E/WeSwSYuKuYI/AAAAAAAAEyQ/1LpzR1aocUId_L57b7_XJrnks8Lt4bZdQCLcBGAs/s200/us%2Bwedding%2Bcake.jpg" width="199" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">October 17, 1992</td></tr>
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We were SO young.<br />
You were 19...yes, I robbed the cradle. No, I wouldn't have it any other way.<br />
We were so YOUNG. <br />
The stars in our eyes meant we didn't see the risks everyone else tried to alert us to.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V4H1wJmWYws/WeSvwo3RfJI/AAAAAAAAExs/mV6hpd1SjXkvYeJu_fcrU_auQelgN93dACLcBGAs/s1600/us%2B1996.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1278" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V4H1wJmWYws/WeSvwo3RfJI/AAAAAAAAExs/mV6hpd1SjXkvYeJu_fcrU_auQelgN93dACLcBGAs/s200/us%2B1996.jpg" width="159" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">1996? </td></tr>
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They said we wouldn't last. <br />
Honestly, there were moments I was afraid we wouldn't...<br />
...but, God...<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_xvdBySGpV4/WeSwCFAqpHI/AAAAAAAAEx0/DdiB6rX0YuUvy9aPG43guKZdwLuiKPilACLcBGAs/s1600/us%2B2000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="659" data-original-width="960" height="136" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_xvdBySGpV4/WeSwCFAqpHI/AAAAAAAAEx0/DdiB6rX0YuUvy9aPG43guKZdwLuiKPilACLcBGAs/s200/us%2B2000.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2000</td></tr>
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God put us together. <br />
God kept us together. <br />
God provided for us. <br />
God blessed us with an amazing bunch of children.<br />
God taught us, and directed us, and reigned us in. <br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g1Juc1VoDAk/WeSwR0ojIXI/AAAAAAAAEx4/3mZlehnpWp841-NWrQ8LNuFglAD6que9wCLcBGAs/s1600/us%2B2006%2Bball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="359" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g1Juc1VoDAk/WeSwR0ojIXI/AAAAAAAAEx4/3mZlehnpWp841-NWrQ8LNuFglAD6que9wCLcBGAs/s200/us%2B2006%2Bball.jpg" width="159" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2006</td></tr>
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I think God probably also has looked at us over the years, and shaken His head, and wondered if we'd ever "get it", like many parents do with their hard-headed children. <br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EN0tyQmobdw/WeSwSHxOBPI/AAAAAAAAEyA/yWEiDUVIAbQzndh6QTIOg5P2YiHRrGbGQCEwYBhgL/s1600/us%2Bchristmas%2B2009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="200" height="183" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EN0tyQmobdw/WeSwSHxOBPI/AAAAAAAAEyA/yWEiDUVIAbQzndh6QTIOg5P2YiHRrGbGQCEwYBhgL/s200/us%2Bchristmas%2B2009.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2009</td></tr>
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He has seen us through financial difficulties, and marital strife, and drama, and legal problems, and more moves than I care to count. He has protected us through separations, and accidents, and thousands of miles on questionable roads. He has educated us, sometimes in classrooms, but more often through His Word and the input of wise people He puts in our paths.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dDxtcxmJ1qk/WeSwR8sNLgI/AAAAAAAAEyU/9nl4TiWqPcAZ4s90I97VGEBj8NAGpBknACEwYBhgL/s1600/us%2Bbahrain%2B2011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="169" data-original-width="167" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dDxtcxmJ1qk/WeSwR8sNLgI/AAAAAAAAEyU/9nl4TiWqPcAZ4s90I97VGEBj8NAGpBknACEwYBhgL/s200/us%2Bbahrain%2B2011.jpg" width="197" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bahrain, 2011</td></tr>
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On this path, we have loved, and laughed, and cried, and yelled, and had hard times, yes. But we have also had fun, and made amazing memories, and worked together, and grown together, and dreamed together. <br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eB12krykqEo/WeSwSf0xDSI/AAAAAAAAEyU/McTGbguyKqATcOKhilxkog9UHoWH6gIMACEwYBhgL/s1600/us%2Bprom%2B2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="397" data-original-width="341" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eB12krykqEo/WeSwSf0xDSI/AAAAAAAAEyU/McTGbguyKqATcOKhilxkog9UHoWH6gIMACEwYBhgL/s200/us%2Bprom%2B2013.jpg" width="171" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Married Prom, 2013</td></tr>
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25 years is a good start. I look forward to the next 25...I can't wait to see where God takes us and what He has for us!!<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Jaggz3ZE5a4/WeSxYY8FxUI/AAAAAAAAEyg/FZzHmeGWPGszlA676f5B4xkXCqb5VNOlACLcBGAs/s1600/us%2Bwedding%2Bselfie%2B2017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="669" data-original-width="669" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Jaggz3ZE5a4/WeSxYY8FxUI/AAAAAAAAEyg/FZzHmeGWPGszlA676f5B4xkXCqb5VNOlACLcBGAs/s200/us%2Bwedding%2Bselfie%2B2017.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">September 9, 2017</td></tr>
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-28463769036741210552017-09-18T21:58:00.002-04:002017-09-18T21:58:54.593-04:00Ten years of WritingI just looked at my stats pages on this blog, and realized that I am coming up on my 10-year anniversary of posting things for the world to read. This thing has brought more than 52 THOUSAND visits, lots of comment-love, and way too much over-sharing on my part. <br />
<br />
Honestly, when I started writing on this blog, I never envisioned that it would go on this long, or that I would have readers all over the world (yes, I know that a LOT of those are bots...but I also know I have friends in Haiti, Thailand, Japan, France, Germany, Canada, and the UK...and probably a few others that don't show up in my Top 10.)<br />
<br />
What began as a way to document our lives for my husband who was in another part of the country quickly turned into a therapeutic outlet for me. I have shared from my heart, from my experiences, and from my hopes for the future. <br />
<br />
Today, my baby is the same age my eldest was when I started. And that eldest just got married. A lot of life has transpired in those 10 years. <br />
<br />
We have moved 2 more times. <br />
3 of my kids have graduated from high school.<br />
The oldest is 2 semesters away from graduating college. <br />
I started and finished 2 Masters degrees. <br />
Jason finished 3 more Masters degrees (he has 4!). <br />
Jason spent a year in Bahrain, and six months in South Korea.<br />
I was able to visit him in Bahrain, twice. <br />
We have cycled through 7 more cars and 2 motorcycles.<br />
I lost my last grandparent. <br />
Jason served as an associate pastor for 2 years. <br />
We survived record-breaking snowfall with little-to-no gear. <br />
There is a lot of between-the-lines that happened....<br />
We have dealt with crimes, and legal systems, and house sales, dramas large and small, celebrations and heartaches. <br />
<br />
The thread woven through all of this is how God has guided, and encouraged, and carried, and provided for us every step of the way. <br />
<br />
I can't wait to see what He has in store for our next ten years!! <div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-33507916933797979902017-09-16T18:57:00.001-04:002017-09-16T18:57:52.000-04:00Emotional Overload (aka, After the Wedding) There are days that seem more than I can handle. <br />
The tears are "RIGHT THERE"...<br />
and might leak out over "nothing". <br />
I miss my son.<br />
I miss my daughter. <br />
I miss the childhood I didn't have.<br />
I miss friends living in different places.<br />
I emote about news stories,<br />
friends' discussions about their families,<br />
and videos of military homecomings,<br />
and 50-year-old dads seeing color for the first time. <br />
<br />
This is not my "normal". <br />
My normal has had tears suppressed<br />
for close to 30 years. <br />
My normal was termed a "crybaby"<br />
for normal childhood responses...<br />
so I learned to never let it show. <br />
<br />
I got to where I couldn't cry if I wanted to...<br />
or needed...<br />
I didn't cry when my grandparents died...<br />
of course, I also wasn't allowed a relationship with them. <br />Moving has not solicited tears,<br />
nor loss, or loneliness, or fear. <br />
<br />
I used to watch overly-done military reunion videos<br />
to help myself process the emotions<br />
from my husband being overseas for a year.<br />
<br />
I don't know what to do with this overload.<br />
I am feeling more,<br />
and crying more,<br />
and missing more,<br />
and longing more.<br />
<br />
None of this is wrong or bad.<br />
It just IS. <br />
I am actually glad that I can cry now. <br />
But it is too much at once....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-61077461713727937552017-09-14T21:54:00.002-04:002017-09-14T21:54:31.509-04:00Recuperating and reminiscingI am sitting here drinking a hot cup of tea and eating some leftover cucumber salad, and thinking about the last week. I'm trying to write, and my heart is just too full. <br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We had guests staying with us for the whole last week, fires to put out, crises to manage, and last-minute details to attend to, as well as school for 3 kids, college classes for the bride, and work for two parents, and two kids. It was a bit hectic and crazy, but it was AMAZING. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, instead of talking about it, I'm just going to put some pictures up...</div>
<div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-h9O8KWnngac/WbsxmOsr-HI/AAAAAAAAEvg/KcgPHwt8vXYqPUKqb2hznJ-OWl2gcGNcQCLcBGAs/s1600/FullSizeRender%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="308" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-h9O8KWnngac/WbsxmOsr-HI/AAAAAAAAEvg/KcgPHwt8vXYqPUKqb2hznJ-OWl2gcGNcQCLcBGAs/s1600/FullSizeRender%2B%25281%2529.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rehearsal</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The brothers</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two of the sisters</td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-55426730172805209162017-08-12T23:20:00.000-04:002017-08-12T23:20:38.031-04:00Summer, 2017What a whirlwind!! <br />
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I had NO PLANS for this summer. It was going to be quiet, and we really were only going to concentrate on preparation for the upcoming wedding and move(s). <br />
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Heh. When you have 4 teens living in a house, it will NEVER be quiet. <br />
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There was art....<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-v89PPE2TRqM/WY--9Yds2eI/AAAAAAAAEto/G4SnGQ7_Ppk_Xvf_lVyEPcmFWAVstr1aACLcBGAs/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-v89PPE2TRqM/WY--9Yds2eI/AAAAAAAAEto/G4SnGQ7_Ppk_Xvf_lVyEPcmFWAVstr1aACLcBGAs/s200/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">By Leah Paxton<br />Pencil drawing</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xUFEY748_f0/WY--_hEJpfI/AAAAAAAAEts/X52NbhS-940bBZw9hKJen4XscBqB21QfgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2759.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xUFEY748_f0/WY--_hEJpfI/AAAAAAAAEts/X52NbhS-940bBZw9hKJen4XscBqB21QfgCLcBGAs/s200/IMG_2759.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">By Katherine Paxton<br />Dry erase marker on white board</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-moY6kOUqR0A/WY-_BOh_D5I/AAAAAAAAEtw/CQdNz4OvcK8Iu5kMvrEuq-lDK4mCnMwPgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_3132.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-moY6kOUqR0A/WY-_BOh_D5I/AAAAAAAAEtw/CQdNz4OvcK8Iu5kMvrEuq-lDK4mCnMwPgCLcBGAs/s200/IMG_3132.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">By Heather Paxton<br />Acrylic on canvas</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-87KYwkogbkM/WY-_DmX_CeI/AAAAAAAAEt0/BuQJjuoWUf0Ca9Icm9XRIGjD4GZN_2CeACLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_3143.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-87KYwkogbkM/WY-_DmX_CeI/AAAAAAAAEt0/BuQJjuoWUf0Ca9Icm9XRIGjD4GZN_2CeACLcBGAs/s200/IMG_3143.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">By Heather Paxton<br />Acrylic on Canvas </td></tr>
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There were visits with friends and lots of good food...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5X8nZ-axsQg/WY-_6iBwLbI/AAAAAAAAEt8/OzPKN13ukLsmX46orP8fcxwjuqOSr56agCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2686.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5X8nZ-axsQg/WY-_6iBwLbI/AAAAAAAAEt8/OzPKN13ukLsmX46orP8fcxwjuqOSr56agCLcBGAs/s200/IMG_2686.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Todd and Debbie...<br />I hadn't seen them in more than 20 years!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gCt7jQrBy_E/WY-_8Nf6kjI/AAAAAAAAEuA/07C69J17gwsEnCwz95na3wViG8XIpcL3wCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_2698.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gCt7jQrBy_E/WY-_8Nf6kjI/AAAAAAAAEuA/07C69J17gwsEnCwz95na3wViG8XIpcL3wCLcBGAs/s200/IMG_2698.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A special note from special friends!</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xb2yCnVlt9c/WY-_9y6_zSI/AAAAAAAAEuE/5yf3muepQSwsvC6hdhGAn2jNyD3ZqY_YACLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_3067.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xb2yCnVlt9c/WY-_9y6_zSI/AAAAAAAAEuE/5yf3muepQSwsvC6hdhGAn2jNyD3ZqY_YACLcBGAs/s200/IMG_3067.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Leah and Laurel<br />Happily reunited for a week!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9ICeH9hJ_pk/WY_AAE80nVI/AAAAAAAAEuI/NCNBoebTOFgLyAQBn4RA7FQ9VtfvdFQfwCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_3131.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9ICeH9hJ_pk/WY_AAE80nVI/AAAAAAAAEuI/NCNBoebTOFgLyAQBn4RA7FQ9VtfvdFQfwCLcBGAs/s200/IMG_3131.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Delicious treats from Uncle Dave!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NtQwi8OyNic/WY_AK9a4VZI/AAAAAAAAEug/j3d3wX9NWGApxpZAqN_H7F9wR87RtCIqQCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_3150.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="360" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NtQwi8OyNic/WY_AK9a4VZI/AAAAAAAAEug/j3d3wX9NWGApxpZAqN_H7F9wR87RtCIqQCLcBGAs/s200/IMG_3150.JPG" width="112" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There were "see you laters"<br />from good friends moving away. </td></tr>
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There has been SHOPPING for wedding stuff....<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NJIZrHlcyGI/WY_AGW6tpzI/AAAAAAAAEvI/f_OYfPbZph89Rxvq89U3Pa7Zko4_kNc3gCEwYBhgL/s1600/FullSizeRender%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="556" data-original-width="640" height="278" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NJIZrHlcyGI/WY_AGW6tpzI/AAAAAAAAEvI/f_OYfPbZph89Rxvq89U3Pa7Zko4_kNc3gCEwYBhgL/s320/FullSizeRender%2B%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
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...and accomplishments....<br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iQOcUt71GU8/WY_AasIJZUI/AAAAAAAAEvI/i5e5gnQA8DU82_HgtHprMU_fQ2kZaj_iwCEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_3181.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iQOcUt71GU8/WY_AasIJZUI/AAAAAAAAEvI/i5e5gnQA8DU82_HgtHprMU_fQ2kZaj_iwCEwYBhgL/s320/IMG_3181.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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....and spotting of wildlife....<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xnPGxo_PXT0/WY_AOOcWBqI/AAAAAAAAEvI/7pF16RpJOGsXuvpq4IVVLo2nkgcfMELOwCEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_3135.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xnPGxo_PXT0/WY_AOOcWBqI/AAAAAAAAEvI/7pF16RpJOGsXuvpq4IVVLo2nkgcfMELOwCEwYBhgL/s200/IMG_3135.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Geese!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NacaA82eChY/WY_AQWZ3f9I/AAAAAAAAEvI/oaULdXgY9RY0LeJMRVpK4Oh4h2sbQilmACEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_3215.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NacaA82eChY/WY_AQWZ3f9I/AAAAAAAAEvI/oaULdXgY9RY0LeJMRVpK4Oh4h2sbQilmACEwYBhgL/s200/IMG_3215.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Turkeys!!</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jTLO6lklEyw/WY_AM9ESTLI/AAAAAAAAEvI/iMFR0boTrt44Ng3FUhGkzHs_LSOoLaCPACEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_2812.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jTLO6lklEyw/WY_AM9ESTLI/AAAAAAAAEvI/iMFR0boTrt44Ng3FUhGkzHs_LSOoLaCPACEwYBhgL/s200/IMG_2812.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The bunny that joined the zoo<br />for 2 days. </td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DzHHxd0VSY4/WY_AE9pLjXI/AAAAAAAAEvI/hraVQf-hsRclwCea5aL0iOIsZyxe1YXDgCEwYBhgL/s1600/CHEWY%2BPIC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="610" data-original-width="640" height="190" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DzHHxd0VSY4/WY_AE9pLjXI/AAAAAAAAEvI/hraVQf-hsRclwCea5aL0iOIsZyxe1YXDgCEwYBhgL/s200/CHEWY%2BPIC.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The fluffy-butt who always lives here.</td></tr>
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...and the beauty of God's creation!!<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U_V-IHqEg3Y/WY_AWWDxIlI/AAAAAAAAEvI/vt5Os71hvAoGjLNMFchXhuwOoc6Aoo5PgCEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_3157.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U_V-IHqEg3Y/WY_AWWDxIlI/AAAAAAAAEvI/vt5Os71hvAoGjLNMFchXhuwOoc6Aoo5PgCEwYBhgL/s200/IMG_3157.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Flowers!!</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vS8QlQBUqto/WY_ASrWCVII/AAAAAAAAEvI/W3-JeSCKHywwxqswA0sD_aHbzyWowCDmwCEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_3232.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vS8QlQBUqto/WY_ASrWCVII/AAAAAAAAEvI/W3-JeSCKHywwxqswA0sD_aHbzyWowCDmwCEwYBhgL/s200/IMG_3232.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Everywhere, flowers!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NXxs7gw_MDg/WY_AZZ0AjQI/AAAAAAAAEvI/mr1ZxWkv6lkV0C6W_30SKR9EWltUx_9PQCEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_3077.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NXxs7gw_MDg/WY_AZZ0AjQI/AAAAAAAAEvI/mr1ZxWkv6lkV0C6W_30SKR9EWltUx_9PQCEwYBhgL/s200/IMG_3077.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even in town!</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GEkswIMaovY/WY_AU6cHGLI/AAAAAAAAEvI/LFAfUHUtbsUtJ7z7prSDGW_I0FLd4Lb_ACEwYBhgL/s1600/IMG_3148.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GEkswIMaovY/WY_AU6cHGLI/AAAAAAAAEvI/LFAfUHUtbsUtJ7z7prSDGW_I0FLd4Lb_ACEwYBhgL/s200/IMG_3148.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So much beauty!!</td></tr>
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I am thankful for our "quiet" summer, and looking forward to where God takes us next!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XmlREVSNuCI/WY_EgIk4TUI/AAAAAAAAEvQ/hjwGyj9LRxENY7j0ZKEn1mirM3cAsnYHQCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_3161.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XmlREVSNuCI/WY_EgIk4TUI/AAAAAAAAEvQ/hjwGyj9LRxENY7j0ZKEn1mirM3cAsnYHQCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_3161.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pineshore Bible Camp<br />Westminster, MA</td></tr>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-86663582054723875252017-07-01T16:49:00.002-04:002017-07-01T16:52:10.450-04:00Semper Gumby <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-l4jq8tmyz9o/WVgLbGR-c0I/AAAAAAAAEtY/s3HXE8kr-LgTL2zzBIF-uKJ4EXvd-eOXQCLcBGAs/s1600/semper%2Bgumby.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="200" data-original-width="200" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-l4jq8tmyz9o/WVgLbGR-c0I/AAAAAAAAEtY/s3HXE8kr-LgTL2zzBIF-uKJ4EXvd-eOXQCLcBGAs/s200/semper%2Bgumby.png" width="200" /></a></div>
Brain dump time. <br />
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Feeling VERY emotional right now. <br />
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We are heading into month #4 of waiting for orders. I have ALL KINDS of feelings about this, most of which are unfit for reading. Mostly, I just wish they'd hurry up and make a decision already, so I can *officially* get on with preparing for a move. Because we KNOW a move is going to happen, but can't do anything really official-like until they (the Navy) tells us that they are officially actually making a decision. Confused yet? Me too. <br />
<br />
Meanwhile, I have to unofficially prepare to leave my job, prepare my house to be moved across-country (or wherever they decide...), prepare the kids' school stuff, get medical records, dental records, etc....but not officially, because, you know, we don't have official orders. Which we may have as little as 6 weeks to get it all together when that actually, officially happens. <br />
<br />
Oh, yeah. <br />
<br />
We're also wedding planning (eldest daughter and her fiance are doing most of this, but you know...), planning on what to leave with the two daughters who plan to stay here, including buying cars, selling cars, gather furniture....finding them places to live (anyone got any leads on CHEAPish places to rent around here, or how a newly-wed couple can get financing??). Of course, nothing official, because we have no end-date, because the Navy can't make up their danged minds about ANYTHING. <br />
<br />
And then....<br />
<br />
I'm also finishing up another degree. What was I thinking?!? Sigh. This week and next week, and I'll be done...and THAT has no impact whatsoever from or on the lack of official decisions. It is just another source of stress....<br />
<br />
So, stressed to the max...<br />
I want to CRY. <br />
I want to SCREAM. <br />
I want to punch someone...not that it would make anything better....<br />
<br />
Limbo is where I am living, and it is a terrible place to be....<br />
<br />
Semper Gumby, y'all. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-42659616137283252832017-06-26T00:22:00.001-04:002017-06-26T00:22:37.919-04:00Missing There's a weight on my chest<br />
that no medicines<br />
or sleep<br />
will relieve. <br />
<br />
There's a hole in my heart<br />
that cannot be mended<br />
or filled<br />
in the normal manner.<br />
<br />
There's an ache in my bones<br />
unrelieved by medicines<br />
or wraps<br />
or anything.<br />
<br />
There's a child that is missing,<br />
place known<br />
name identified,<br />
but still missing. <br />
<br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-53121726855119190402017-06-26T00:14:00.003-04:002017-06-26T00:14:41.956-04:00Things that bug me (semi-annual post?) I have a lot of pet peeves, apparently. <br />
<br />
They particularly show up on Facebook. All the time. <br />
<br />
Like posts that talk about the wonders of beards. Eww. <br />
And decorating them for Christmas. Double Ick. <br />
<br />
And posts where people misquote Scriptures, and claim that God is some kind of perpetual genie. NO. <br />
<br />
Thankfully a lot of the scams and spam have (finally) been eliminated from my timeline. (No, Mark Zuckerberg is NOT giving away money. No, Steve Jobs didn't stipulate some kind of give-away in his will. No, you will NOT magically come into a lot of money by sharing the posts that have (illegal) pictures of money.) <br />
<br />
Unfortunately, there are apparently still a lot of people who are gullible, or paranoid, or some intersection of those two. <br />
<br />
Facebook is a GREAT medium for keeping in touch with people, and a great way to network, and to educate. I have seen it used for great good. I have also seen people abusing the access they have to other people through this medium. <br />
<br />
Part of that includes spamming us with their business posts. <br />And abusing friendships with politics.<br />
And taking advantage of (unnaturally close) "friends of friends" who really are not friends at all. <br />
<br />
Duck lips. Ducks don't have lips. Stopit. <br />
<br />
Being unwilling to learn from others. We all have room for growth and learning. If you're not growing and learning, you are dying. Be willing to grow and learn from people who are different from you. Everyone has something they can teach you. (Sometimes it is what NOT to do!)<br />
<br />
Passive-aggressive complaints on Facebook. <br />
Passive-aggressive posts based on guilt-manipulation. ("I know MY friends will repost this..." I have a flag for that with a two-letter name....STOPIT!!) <br />
Guilt-manipulation in general. It WILL backfire on you. DON'T DO IT. <br />
<br />
Paranoia. People who stir up paranoia. <br />Idolatry in the name of Christianity. <br />Alleged humor at the expense of others. It's NOT funny. <br />
Fake news. People who don't check out the articles they post and insist on spreading fake news. <br />
<br />
Enough for now. Yes, I know this sounds petty, and passive-aggressive. I am not singling anyone out. If the shoe fits, wear it. Remove the log from your eye....and then come help me with my splinters...I need the help. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-41714091909855589272017-06-25T23:36:00.000-04:002017-06-25T23:38:17.302-04:00Healing <div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="dtsis" data-offset-key="6c5mu-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #4b4f56; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6c5mu-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">
<div style="background-color: white; color: #4b4f56; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="6c5mu-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">4/1/2017 </span></div>
<br /><br /> Grief. <br />...for something that never was. <br />...for the illusion that was proven false.<br />...for what should have been, but wasn't.<br /><br />Tears.<br />...because there is a hole in my heart.<br />...because it shouldn't be this way.<br /><br /><br />...because I don't understand why. <br /><br /><br /><br /> (Edited 6/25/2017)<br />Healing is a long and arduous process. <br />Much of what happens in this process is not clear. <br />Much of what happened in the past is unexplained and misunderstood. <br />Someday there will be complete healing. <br />Today is not that day. </div>
</div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-43854866611816166112017-04-01T22:23:00.000-04:002017-04-01T22:23:56.893-04:00A Glimpse in the Window....<div class="tr_bq">
...of my brain. </div>
<br />
As I have stated several times in the past, I deal on a daily basis with Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD).<br />
<br />
<br />
WHAT IS C-PTSD?<br />
<br />
From the website <a href="http://outofthefog.website/toolbox-1/2015/11/17/complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-c-ptsd" target="_blank">Out of the Fog</a>:<br />
<blockquote style="background-color: white; margin-bottom: 24px;">
<div id="yui_3_17_2_1_1453343508208_452" style="color: #3b3b3b; font-family: proxima-nova; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.6px; margin-bottom: 24px;">
"Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is a condition that results from chronic or long-term exposure to emotional trauma over which a victim has little or no control and from which there is little or no hope of escape, such as in cases of: </div>
<ul id="yui_3_17_2_1_1453343508208_370" style="color: #3b3b3b; font-family: proxima-nova; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.6px; margin: 1em 0px 24px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 40px;">
<li>domestic emotional, physical or sexual abuse</li>
<li>childhood emotional, physical or sexual abuse</li>
<li>entrapment or kidnapping.</li>
<li>slavery or enforced labor.</li>
<li>long term imprisonment and torture</li>
<li id="yui_3_17_2_1_1453343508208_378">repeated violations of personal boundaries.</li>
<li>long-term objectification.</li>
<li>exposure to gaslighting & false accusations</li>
<li>long-term exposure to inconsistent, push-pull,splitting or alternating raging & hoovering behaviors.</li>
<li>long-term taking care of mentally ill or chronically sick family members.</li>
<li>long term exposure to crisis conditions."</li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
In learning how Trauma affects the brain, first we need to learn how a "normal", untraumatized brain develops. Dr. J. Douglas Bremner writes: <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman" , "stixgeneral" , serif; font-size: 15.9991px; line-height: 21.9988px;">Although the bulk of brain development occurs in utero, the brain continues to develop after birth. In the first 5 years of life there is an overall expansion of brain volume related to development of both gray matter and white matter structures; however, from 7 to 17 years of age there is a progressive increase in white matter (felt to be related to ongoing myelination) and decrease in gray matter (felt to be related to neuronal pruning) while overall brain size stays the same. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman" , "stixgeneral" , serif; font-size: 15.9991px; line-height: 21.9988px;">Gray matter areas that undergo the greatest increases throughout this latter developmental epoch include frontal cortex and parietal cortex. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman" , "stixgeneral" , serif; font-size: 15.9991px; line-height: 21.9988px;">Basal ganglia decrease in size, while corpus callosum, </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman" , "stixgeneral" , serif; font-size: 15.9991px; line-height: 21.9988px;">hippocampus, and amygdala </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman" , "stixgeneral" , serif; font-size: 15.9991px; line-height: 21.9988px;">appear to increase in size during childhood, although there may be developmental sex-laterality effects for some of these structures. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman" , "stixgeneral" , serif; font-size: 15.9991px; line-height: 21.9988px;">Overall brain size is 10% larger in boys than girls during childhood. (Source: <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181836/" target="_blank">Traumatic Stress: effects on the brain</a>)</span></blockquote>
So, we know that children's brains continue to grow and develop all the way through about age 17. There are a LOT of changes that happen during this time, which will affect the child for the rest of their life. During this time, for every person, there WILL be stresses, and it is important to note how the brain is supposed to respond to stress. <br />
<br />
A good explanation is available on the Harvard Health <a href="http://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response" target="_blank">website</a>:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: , "freesans" , "helmet" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.2px; line-height: 22.04px;">The stress response begins in the brain. When someone confronts an oncoming car or other danger, the eyes or ears (or both) send the information to the amygdala, an area of the brain that contributes to emotional processing. The amygdala interprets the images and sounds. When it perceives danger, it instantly sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: , "freesans" , "helmet" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.2px; line-height: 22.04px;">When someone experiences a stressful event, the amygdala, an area of the brain that contributes to emotional processing, sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus. This area of the brain functions like a command center, communicating with the rest of the body through the nervous system so that the person has the energy to fight or flee.</span></blockquote>
For our purposes, we are going to stop there, with the technical explanation of what happens in a normal stress response. Just remember the parts of the brain mentioned...the amygdala and hypothalamus...and one that was not mentioned: the hippocampus. These parts of the brain are important pieces of what happens with a traumatized person. <br />
<br />
What we know already is that stress is hard on our bodies. An accumulation of too much stress leads to health problems. Doctors will tell people to reduce their stress in order to get healthy or to stay healthy. A Harvard Health <a href="http://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response" target="_blank">website</a> says this about stress:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: , "freesans" , "helmet" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.2px; line-height: 22.04px;">Stress is unpleasant, even when it is transient. A stressful situation — whether something environmental, such as a looming work deadline, or psychological, such as persistent worry about losing a job — can trigger a cascade of stress hormones that produce well-orchestrated physiological changes. A stressful incident can make the heart pound and breathing quicken. Muscles tense and beads of sweat appear.</span></blockquote>
This is a NORMAL, non-traumatized person's response to stress. And the results can be disastrous. From the same website:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: , "freesans" , "helmet" , sans-serif; font-size: 15.2px; line-height: 22.04px;">Persistent epinephrine surges can damage blood vessels and arteries, increasing blood pressure and raising risk of heart attacks or strokes. Elevated cortisol levels create physiological changes that help to replenish the body’s energy stores that are depleted during the stress response. But they inadvertently contribute to the buildup of fat tissue and to weight gain. For example, cortisol increases appetite, so that people will want to eat more to obtain extra energy. It also increases storage of unused nutrients as fat.</span></blockquote>
<br />
So, long-term stress responses make us tired, built fatty tissue, and cause weight gain, as well as increased blood pressure, damage to blood vessels and arteries, and a raised risk of heart attack and stroke. <br />
<br />
<br />
WHAT IS DIFFERENT ABOUT A TRAUMATIZED PERSON?<br />
<br />
A traumatized person has experienced trauma of some sort, either short- or long-term assault on their safety and well-being, physical, and/or emotional. What happens inside the brain of someone who has been traumatized? <br />
<br />
Christy Matta, a counselor, explains:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.3125px; margin-bottom: 1.625em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; zoom: 1;">
The body’s response to acute stress is a preparation for emergency. Adrenaline and other hormones are released. The body shuts down processes associated with long-term care. When under immediate threat, digestion, reproduction, cell repair and other body tasks related to long-term functioning are unimportant.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.3125px; margin-bottom: 1.625em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; zoom: 1;">
<span id="more-44357" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; zoom: 1;"></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.3125px; margin-bottom: 1.625em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; zoom: 1;">
Of immediate importance is survival. Increased blood sugar can provide extra energy for muscles. Increases in cortisol counter pain and inflammation. Blood pressure increases. Blood is diverted from our extremities to our major muscles to provide us with extra strength. Increased endorphins can help us ignore physical pain.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.3125px; margin-bottom: 1.625em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; zoom: 1;">
You can see the effects of these changes to the body in many of the symptoms of stress, such as racing heart, dizziness, nausea, shortness of breath, shaking, feeling hot and flushed, and sweating. (Source: <a href="http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/18/how-trauma-can-affect-your-body-mind/" target="_blank">How Trauma Can Effect Your Body & Mind</a>)</div>
</blockquote>
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-68194339955783087802017-03-30T10:46:00.002-04:002017-03-30T10:46:43.865-04:00Dependa-what?!?In some circles, being a "military dependant" is a very derogatory label. There are accusations of laziness, and classlessness, and abuse, and any manner of unseemly behavior. While there may be instances (as in any circle) where there is a hint of truth to the accusation, I have not found these stereotyping labels to fit any of the military families I know. <br />
<br />
It even occurs to me that many civilian families (including those to whom we are related) may not understand our lives. Allow me to educate....<br />
<br />
From the oh-so-reliable Wiki:<br />"<b style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Military dependents</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> are the </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage" style="background: none rgb(255, 255, 255); color: #0b0080; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration: none;" title="Marriage">spouse</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">(s), children, and possibly other </span><a class="mw-redirect" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_chart" style="background: none rgb(255, 255, 255); color: #0b0080; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration: none;" title="Cousin chart">familial relationship</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> categories of a sponsoring military member for purposes of pay as well as special benefits, privileges and rights.</span><sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-DoD_601O.8-R_1-0" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11.2px; line-height: 1; unicode-bidi: isolate; white-space: nowrap;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_dependent#cite_note-DoD_601O.8-R-1" style="background: none; color: #0b0080; text-decoration: none;">[1]</a></sup><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> This generic category is enumerated in great detail for </span><a class="mw-redirect" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_of_the_United_States" style="background: none rgb(255, 255, 255); color: #0b0080; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration: none;" title="Military of the United States">U.S. military</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> members."<br /></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Very self-explanatory, no? Heh. Let's try a different route....</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">I am a military dependant. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">My husband is in the United States Navy. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">That means he goes to work every day wearing the uniform of a United States Sailor. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14px;">No, not the funky white bell-bottoms with the "sailor collar" and "dixie cup" cover. (Thank God. Those uniforms make MOST people look like the Pillsbury Doughboy. And they're a bear to keep looking nice. Hello...they're WHITE.) Usually, he wears what is affectionately called the "blueberrys"....which incidentally are going away in the next few years. </span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Dependant means that (like MOST working families), our health insurance falls under his job...his employer provides health insurance for our family as part of the incentive plan. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Dependant means that we "get to" move every few years. Whether we really want to, or not...well, frankly, we COULD decide we were done with moving and stay...but that would mean added expense that we cannot afford. Oh, and we RARELY get to move where we want. Usually, the choice goes to the "needs of the Navy"...which often falls 5 or 15 slots below our first, second, or third choices. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Dependent means that WHEN (not IF) he is deployed, I get to be chief-cook-and-bottle-washer, mom, dad, chauffeur, pay the bills, and take care of everything (did I ever tell you about the time I bought a house in his name?...I also bought a car during that deployment). </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">At one point in our experience, Dependent meant that I couldn't afford TO WORK, because daycare would cost more money than I could make...even with my college education and work experience. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Dependent means that if I want to do any further education, work, or spend time with friends, it ALWAYS come after his work on the priority list. Why? Because the Navy owns him. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Dependent means that somewhere around 1% of the US population understands our lifestyle. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Dependent means that we get a non-blood-related family through other "dependents", who are available when deployments and trainings and detachments happen, to help with inevitable list of things that go wrong as soon as he walks out the door or gets on the plane. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Dependent is one of those terms that has a lot of implications to a lot of people, and most of them are wrong. While Dependents have the label because they love a family member who is in the military, they are usually the LEAST dependent people I have ever met...independence defines the lifestyle. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">To all of my VERY independent Dependa-friends....thank you for your input over the last 17 years!! You're AMAZING, and will be one of the things I miss most when we reach the end of this journey....</span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-82628208693870441792017-02-06T09:12:00.000-05:002017-02-06T09:12:21.237-05:00February, 2017This going to be rambling, and probably not very coherent. Sorry. <br />
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First, this month marks 25 years that we have been promised to each other. We were engaged in February, 1992. We will celebrate 25 years of marriage in October. <br />
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Several things. <br />
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This man has been an instrument God used to rescue me. And I DO mean that literally. He has been with me through recovery from PTSD (still in that!), and saw me buried under some pretty intense depression that almost took me away. He has soothed anxieties that I didn't know I had, and pretty much been the rock I needed when I didn't know that my foundation was faulty. <br />
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He saw through the fake front that my family projected, and took me out of the abuse and control and demeaning situation I was in. He has encouraged me, and built me up, and continues to support and encourage me. <br />
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My parents hated him. HATED. They did everything they could to separate us. And still he stuck around, and tried to be a good son-in-law. <br />
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There have been tough times...but God. <br />I have doubted....but God. <br />I was told repeatedly that it would never last...but God. <br />
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That said, God is still working on us...we will always be a work-in-progress. <br />
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Second, there is a mistaken thought in some Christian circles that parents always know who is the best spouse for their children. This is a faulty thought-process. Parents are NOT God. Parents do NOT know everything. Some parents do not even have their child's best interests in mind. Even parents who claim to be Christians fall into that last group. <br />
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I suffered so much mental anguish for YEARS because my parents HATED my husband, and many in my advisory circle thought I should have followed what they said and not married him. There was a blow-up 2 weeks before the wedding. It was not pretty. Jason told them to stop harassing me, and not to bother coming to the wedding, due to the fact that EVERY time I got on the phone with them, trying to plan what was supposed to have been the happiest day of my life, they made me cry. They belittled me. They disparaged me. They tried to control me from 2 hours away. They complained about how much money we were spending. (They put very little money into it...the total cost of the wedding ended up being less than $2,000, and Jason and I paid for most of it.)<br />
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Two and a half weeks after the wedding (election day 1992), I had a miscarriage. The words of "comfort" I heard? "I told you that you didn't have to marry him." <br />
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We have come a LONG ways since then. <br />24 years. <br />6 more children. <br />
20+ moves in 5 states. <br />
More jobs than I can count. <br />
More cars than I care to figure out.<br />
<br />Education, exposure, and encouragement have made a HUGE difference in who I am today. I have had several counselors express amazement that I never ended up with any addictions (outside of caffeine...NOT going there!), given the abuse and control I grew up under, and which no one outside the family saw. <br />
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People question why I would "expose the dirty laundry". "Why talk about it now", they ask, "that's in the past." <br />
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First, my story is MY STORY. It is how I came to be who I am today. Telling my story is how I heal, and how I show all that God has done in my life. <br />
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Second, I tell my story for others whose stories are hidden, to give them courage. You CAN be different. You CAN overcome those lies people tell you. You CAN be who God made you to be. <br />
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Third, an exposed dirty story has less power. The longer these abuses and lies are hidden, the more power they have, and my life now is about breaking those chains of control that those lies and that abuse has over me. My education has taught me the power of exposing "family secrets", and how freeing it is for everyone involved. <br />
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I love doing life with this man. I love the month of February...it is the month I first had PROOF I was really loved by someone. And he continues to show it to me every day of every year since then. I am so glad I said "YES!" 25 years ago!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2281344898981250011.post-57858419210834716032016-12-24T23:30:00.002-05:002016-12-24T23:30:54.350-05:00Family Newsletter, 2016<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Merry Christmas from the Paxton family!!<br />
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Christmas 2016 finds us still in Massachusetts. <br />
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We have enjoyed a busy year with many milestones. <br />
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Frances transferred from CIU, to Liberty Online, to Gordon College, where she continues towards her goal of finishing school sometime before she is eligible for retirement. <br />
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Jon is still in Virginia Beach, currently working full-time, but was able to make the trip up to visit when his sister graduated....<br /><br />
Heather graduated from high school (YAY!), and is working part-time...and trying to "find herself" (...think the parents can help with that!!). <br />
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Justin is a Junior in high school, and has been able to take part in several theater productions, thus rendering him unable to keep up with school work or have anything resembling a social life. <br /><br />Leah is a Freshman in high school, and was also able to take part in the school's fall musical. Her social life is only moderately busier than Justin's...for which the parental units are immensely grateful. <br />
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Katherine is adjusting to being the only sibling still going to school on base, and is 7th grade. The adjustment to being the last Paxton to enter adolescence has taken her parents by surprise with her ease of adjustment, and their shock that they are old enough for their youngest (!) child to be this OLD!! <br />
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Jason has stayed busy with work, which has included several out-of-town trainings in the past two months, as well as having made a trip to SC for (allegedly) his high school homecoming....which was henceforth cancelled due to an alleged hurricane. <br />
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Laura started back to work after a significant break (ahem...close to 10 years?), this time working in the field of trauma therapy, and attempting to keep up with her level of Facebook posts and associated game requests, while maintaining a messy house, and staying consistently behind on the laundry, as well as starting back to school AGAIN, writing mediocre papers, and staying irritated about group projects. <br />
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Again, Merry Christmas!! Prayers from our family to yours for a Peaceful and Joyful 2017!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml"><img src="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/images/pub/feed-icon32x32.png" alt="" style="border:0"/></a><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/ADayInTheLifeOfAMomOfSix" title="Subscribe to my feed" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml">Subscribe in a reader</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0