Friday, January 2, 2009

What, Me Insecure?!?

I have to keep re-evaluating my own mental health. From time to time, I get overly insecure and worry about EVERYTHING, and start driving my husband crazy. At that point I have to go back and look at what is affecting me this time.

So, yesterday I was going through this mental evaluation and something dawned on me that I probably should have recognized a long time ago.

See, I have this tendency to blame my depression, worry and insecurity on anything and everything but where it *should* be. If finances are tight, I blame it on money. If gas prices are going up, or my children are having trouble, or change is in the foreseeable future, I have something to blame it on.

Yesterday it dawned on me that even if I had a perfect life...lots of money, perfect children, faithful attentive husband, housekeeper, etc, I would STILL be insecure. My security does not/can NOT depend on circumstances.

Maybe this doesn't mean a lot to you, but to me, it was pivotal. I don't know why. I SHOULD have understood this a long time ago.

After all, I DO know that God is in control.
I KNOW that He loves me beyond anything I can imagine.
I KNOW that He will provide for all my needs.
I know these things, but for some reason I have been insecure for all of my life.

Pray for me, please, as I work on the transforming of my mind that needs to occur.

So, I guess that's my New Year' s resolution for this year....what is yours?

1 comment:

Wendy said...

I hear what you're saying....I've soooooo been there. And getting past it doesn't come fast or easy (at least, it didn't for me) but you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. :)

The wonderful part is that, when it happens, you will find God's peace, a peace that really does surpass all understanding. I'll be praying that you find it this year.