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Friday, January 2, 2009

What, Me Insecure?!?

I have to keep re-evaluating my own mental health. From time to time, I get overly insecure and worry about EVERYTHING, and start driving my husband crazy. At that point I have to go back and look at what is affecting me this time.

So, yesterday I was going through this mental evaluation and something dawned on me that I probably should have recognized a long time ago.

See, I have this tendency to blame my depression, worry and insecurity on anything and everything but where it *should* be. If finances are tight, I blame it on money. If gas prices are going up, or my children are having trouble, or change is in the foreseeable future, I have something to blame it on.

Yesterday it dawned on me that even if I had a perfect life...lots of money, perfect children, faithful attentive husband, housekeeper, etc, I would STILL be insecure. My security does not/can NOT depend on circumstances.

Maybe this doesn't mean a lot to you, but to me, it was pivotal. I don't know why. I SHOULD have understood this a long time ago.

After all, I DO know that God is in control.
I KNOW that He loves me beyond anything I can imagine.
I KNOW that He will provide for all my needs.
I know these things, but for some reason I have been insecure for all of my life.

Pray for me, please, as I work on the transforming of my mind that needs to occur.

So, I guess that's my New Year' s resolution for this year....what is yours?

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