Really. I've had a good week. I accomplished a lot. I turned in papers on time. I got to all of my classes (so I was late to one...get over it. Had to mail something to the husband). I got the kids to all of their activities. And home. No one starved (though they may think differently!). Laundry was washed. The dog and cat are still alive. The plants are watered. The cars are still running. I even finished up all of my work before Monday morning!! Believe me, THAT is an accomplishment!!
I even got to talk to my husband every day. Some days more than once. I got to get some much-needed foundational wear. I got on the treadmill, and built my way up to 10 minutes. I even ran. I was even able to right a sticky situation with my mother. Yeah, I know. It sounds like I should be well on the way to accomplishing world peace, and that's just this week.
So why do I feel so down?!? I know I'm tired. But I think this is more than that. I know I'm frustrated because I can't find something. I know I've got deadlines coming on papers and projects. I miss my husband. Still, I think it is something more.
I have a LOT to be thankful for. We're all healthy (and we all know that's a big thing during flu season!). We have a GREAT house. I am studying something I LOVE. I don't have to worry about my next meal (instead I worry about my waistline!)...or that of my children. We have a roof over our heads, transportation, a very loving church family, and we know that God has blessed us far beyond what we deserve.
See, in my head I know a lot of stuff. Enough to get myself in trouble. But my problem comes in that I am always surprised when those things I know about actually apply to me! So, as I sit here thinking about being down, I am surprised to discover that I am dealing with something that is very common.
We are coming up on the holidays. Thanksgiving is the next one. This is one of the two biggest family holidays of the calendar year. And a huge part of our family is on the other side of the world. Which leads to me being down. I am (supposedly) this strong, together military wife, who can handle pretty much whatever anyone throws at me. Yeah, okay, sure. Most times I deal pretty well. With a LOT of help. Throw in the holidays, and I want to curl up in a corner somewhere, hold my blankie, and suck my thumb.
I've never had to do Thanksgiving or Christmas without Jason here. Or New Years. Or Valentine's Day, or any of the kids' (or my) birthdays. I feel like such a novice right now...only we've been doing this military thing for going-on 11 years right now. I know we've been fortunate. I know I'm lucky. I know.
And I know I am not alone. The "Holiday Blues" can affect anyone. Just think of the homeless, the breadwinner who just lost their job, the couple facing foreclosure, the newly diagnosed, newly widowed, divorced, alone. Again, this can affect anyone.
So, if you're down in these trenches with me, what are you doing to get out?
If you look at Dr. Larry A. Nadig's site, you willl see these recommendations, which are taken from the Serenity Prayer:
1. Accept the things I cannot change,
2. Courage to change the things I can, and
3. The wisdom to know the difference.
I like this. I like that it is *not* a pat answer. I am going to be implimenting this, as soon as possible. Right after I get some sleep.
I did Thanksgiving without Andrew during his last deployment, and I've spent more Easters apart from him than with him! This will be our first Christmas apart, though, and when you combine it with the fact that this will be Caden's first Christmas with us it gets hard to handle. For me, Thanksgiving is a wash since I'll be in China and my relatives will be "winging it" here at my house while I'm away. And as far as Christmas goes, I'm trying to focus on being thankful that Caden is going to be here with us. That's been my big prayer. I knew there was no other option for Andrew--but if our family was spread out over THREE countries at Christmas, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle it!
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