Ten years of Writing

I just looked at my stats pages on this blog, and realized that I am coming up on my 10-year anniversary of posting things for the world to read.  This thing has brought more than 52 THOUSAND visits, lots of comment-love, and way too much over-sharing on my part.

Honestly, when I started writing on this blog, I never envisioned that it would go on this long, or that I would have readers all over the world (yes, I know that a LOT of those are bots...but I also know I have friends in Haiti, Thailand, Japan, France, Germany, Canada, and the UK...and probably a few others that don't show up in my Top 10.)

What began as a way to document our lives for my husband who was in another part of the country quickly turned into a therapeutic outlet for me.  I have shared from my heart, from my experiences, and from my hopes for the future.

Today, my baby is the same age my eldest was when I started.  And that eldest just got married.  A lot of life has transpired in those 10 years.

We have moved 2 more times.
3 of my kids have graduated from high school.
The oldest is 2 semesters away from graduating college.
I started and finished 2 Masters degrees.
Jason finished 3 more Masters degrees (he has 4!).
Jason spent a year in Bahrain, and six months in South Korea.
I was able to visit him in Bahrain, twice.
We have cycled through 7 more cars and 2 motorcycles.
I lost my last grandparent.
Jason served as an associate pastor for 2 years.
We survived record-breaking snowfall with little-to-no gear.
There is a lot of between-the-lines that happened....
We have dealt with crimes, and legal systems, and house sales, dramas large and small, celebrations and heartaches.

The thread woven through all of this is how God has guided, and encouraged, and carried, and provided for us every step of the way.

I can't wait to see what He has in store for our next ten years!!

Emotional Overload (aka, After the Wedding)

There are days that seem more than I can handle.
The tears are "RIGHT THERE"...
and might leak out over "nothing".
I miss my son.
I miss my daughter.
I miss the childhood I didn't have.
I miss friends living in different places.
I emote about news stories,
friends' discussions about their families,
and videos of military homecomings,
and 50-year-old dads seeing color for the first time.

This is not my "normal".
My normal has had tears suppressed
for close to 30 years.
My normal was termed a "crybaby"
for normal childhood responses...
so I learned to never let it show.

I got to where I couldn't cry if I wanted to...
or needed...
I didn't cry when my grandparents died...
of course, I also wasn't allowed a relationship with them.
Moving has not solicited tears,
nor loss, or loneliness, or fear.

I used to watch overly-done military reunion videos
to help myself process the emotions
from my husband being overseas for a year.

I don't know what to do with this overload.
I am feeling more,
and crying more,
and missing more,
and longing more.

None of this is wrong or bad.
It just IS.
I am actually glad that I can cry now.
But it is too much at once....

Recuperating and reminiscing

I am sitting here drinking a hot cup of tea and eating some leftover cucumber salad, and thinking about the last week.  I'm trying to write, and my heart is just too full.

We had guests staying with us for the whole last week, fires to put out, crises to manage, and last-minute details to attend to, as well as school for 3 kids, college classes for the bride, and work for two parents, and two kids.  It was a bit hectic and crazy, but it was AMAZING.  

So, instead of talking about it, I'm just going to put some pictures up...

Rehearsal

The brothers

Two of the sisters