You had no choice the family into which you were born, and the cards were already stacked against our relationship long before you were even a twinkle.
Though each and every one of you was wanted, and loved, and cared-for, there is so much more I wish I had been able to give you over the intervening years.
I wish I had the knowledge of HOW to have a good, close relationship with you.
I wish I could give you the gift of unconditional love.
I wish I knew how to give you the words and knowledge to stand up to a world that doesn't appreciate strong women, and sensitive men.
I am sorry that my brokenness has had a detrimental effect on our relationships.
I am sorry that I taught you things I didn't want to pass on, because I didn't know how to do it better.
I am sorry if how I responded told you things about yourself that just were not true....really, in this case, it is definitely about me, and is in no way your fault.
I am sorry that my brokenness interfered with my ability to protect you and guide you and love you.
I told myself many years ago that with God's help I was determined to break the bondage of generations of abuse. I pray that you are able to go out into life without the brokenness I live with daily. I pray that God has used the broken pieces that He is putting back together to help you be the men and women He wants you to be. I pray that you love HIM with all of your hearts, because no matter how much I was unable to do, He is the Perfect Parent...He knows much better than I do what each of you needs, and can provide that much better that I can.
Please forgive me for not being the mother that you so deserve.
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