I was talking in class the other day about where I am, personally, with my spiritual life, professional life, and personally/emotionally. I said something that (I *think*) probably had most of the 20-somethings in the class scratching their heads. I know it has me scratching *MY* head...
We have been doing this active-duty military nomadic lifestyle now for 10-ish years. Prior to that, we moved. A LOT. Granted, that moving was within about a 50 mile radius, but we moved. I think I've figured out that in our 18 years of marriage we have moved something like 16 or 17 times. After a while, it gets in your blood.
Given that, you would think that I like change. Not so much. I like structure and stability.
So, let's review.
Moving = change =/= structure and stability.
And Laura does not like change.
So, how did I find these words coming out of my mouth?!?
"I see change in my future, and I am okay with that."
Whuck?!?
Even moreso, I said, "I see us moving again in the not-too-distant future, and I am okay with that, too."
HUH?!?
Where did this come from?
We *just* moved into a house that we BOUGHT...that is monumental. We have been living in rentals F-O-R-E-V-E-R. I like having my own house. I like being able to plant things in the yard. And not worrying about the "housing police" fussing about how many cars were parked in our driveway/yard/street. And being able to make plans to rip up the carpet and put in hardwood.
Something snuck up on me while I wasn't looking...this thing called contentment.
This is not contentment with the status quo. Been there. Don't like that.
This is not contentment to stay planted in one place. Remember the whole moving thing?
This is something vastly different. Something I am still processing. Something that makes me wonder what happened to me in the last few weeks that changed my perception of my world.
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Phil. 4:11
2 comments:
I can certainly identify, now that I have lived in the same home for 14 years though, I am not ready to move. This is the first place I have lived the longest in my 44 years, prior to that my parents moved us 5 times in 18 years and then as a navy wife I only stayed in one location 6 years, otherwise we moved. When we bought our house I was "content" but within a year was thinking we needed to move.
Today we live with the parking police at our own home! We deal with nosy neighbors and one in particular has been hateful and discriminatory since we moved in and we still continue to shovel his walks and pick up trash or other debris that blows in his yard from neighbor kids. Kill him with kindness and he still makes things miserable. That being said, I am content to stay in my home now, I am not ready to move again.
But as God has it, it is time to move and to where who knows, but I do know one certainty, God has the master plan and when the time comes we must move he will provide for us. Still a bit scary though~
This contentment is a strange thing, isn't it? As it's still fairly new to me, I'm not really sure what to do with it yet. :) There is an amazing peace that comes from just being "okay" and willing to let God just work, though.
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