Who DID I Marry?

When we got married, I thought I married a romantic.

Boy, was I wrong.

At some points in the last 23 years, I thought I married the wrong person.

That was also wrong.

At various points along the way, I thought I was married to a prospective Marine, a college student, a pastor, a door-to-door salesman, a construction worker, a truck driver, a security guard, a prison guard, a Navy supply guy, a potential Navy Chaplain, a grad student, a sandwich maker, a desk-sitter-behinder, a world-traveler, a stay-at-homer, a soft-ball aficionado, a lover of football, and NASCAR, and basketball, and bowling, and baseball.

At various points along the way, any one of the above could have described my husband, but they were not HIM.

After 23 years of marriage, you would think I would KNOW my husband.  In fact, I thought I DID know him.  I know about his habits, his mannerisms, his patterns of speech, the way he twitches as he falls asleep, his smell, his smile, his favorite foods, and his favorite football teams.

However, there is more to knowing someone than knowing ABOUT them.

Knowing the inside of a person is every-so-much more important than knowing about their habits and their favorite teams.  Somewhere along the way, I also thought I knew the insides of my husband.

I know he loves God.
And I know he loves his parents.
And his children.
And me.
And I know he loves his country.

But there is lot more to him than all of that, and I had a different perception of who he was on the inside.

You see, background and experiences gave me a set of lenses for how to see the world, but also how to see my husband.

So the same teachings that said I needed to be a doormat, also said that he would walk on me.

That was wrong.

The teachings that told me I needed to wait on him hand and foot also told me that he EXPECTED and DEMANDED that I do so.

That was also wrong.

The teachings that said I had to dress in certain ways and behave in a certain manner also taught me that he would be unable to control himself unless I did everything right.

That was WAY off-base.

Those same teachings that said my actions would save our marriage, also told me that any misstep on his part was my fault and that he (and the rest of the Christian world) would blame me.

Wrong, again.

Obviously, there are some things I still have to learn about my husband.  I am so glad to learn that some of my skewed perceptions of him were wrong...and I am loving seeing the absolutely amazing man I actually married.  I am SO GLAD he is NOT who I thought he was!!

I happen to think he's a LOT better-looking now than he was WAY back then, too!!

Because he's crazy like that...

...Jason ran 10 miles this morning...just for the fun of it!

There is so much to say...

My brain is overloaded. There is too much going on.

1. We're moving...just across town, but it involves boxes and moving trucks and chaos. Blech.

2. I'm going back to school. Remember my New Year's Resolutions? Getting started is HARD. Jus' sayin'....

3. Frances still has no answers. Which means more doctors' appointments. And Physical Therapy. And testing.

4. Jason has training. In Dallas. For a week. (I know, I know...it's not a deployment...a week is NOTHING...blah, blah, blah. He's been home now for 9.75 of his 10 years in. I'm not used to him being gone...please bear with me.)

5. About that...no, he's not going to the sandbox. Still waiting to hear where...but not over there. This time.

6. Family reunion. Not here. Right in the middle of it all. Sigh.

About #1...we're moving into a house that we hope, eventually, to buy. Financing couldn't be easy, could it? Seriously, with the housing market, economy, etc., in the shape they are in, you'd think it would be easier to get financing than to, say, find a needle in a haystack. But no. Not for us. Sigh.

#2. School. After 20-ish years out of school, I am TERRIFIED. There is SO MUCH to do. And I am not sure I am up to this. Ugh. GRE, FAFSA, VONAPP, GI bill, portfolios, resumes....when did it all get so complicated?!? This is NOT what I remember.

#3. Frances has another Nerve Conduction study coming up. And another followup with neurologist #2. Last followup was...ummm...a bit anticlimactic. Nothing found by any tests means that nothing structural has been found, which, according to above neurologist, means that there is no explanation for her numbness. He DID give her two prescriptions...one specifically for her migraines, and the second for prevention of migraines and possible treatment of the as-yet-undiagnosed nerve problems. But supposedly there is no reason to image her head. HELLO. Center of the nervous system. From which said rebellious nerves originate. Seems simple enough to me..... Oh, and the letter from the Psychologist? Neurologist #2 thought *I* had generated it. Thank you for that vote of confidence, doc....and for the honorary doctorate!

4. Jason, training...'nuff said.

5. Awaiting orders. I HATE waiting.

6. Family reunion...should be fun...if only it weren't right in the middle of things...

Thank you for hanging in there with me. Someday...well, I'd like to have enough time (and energy) to actually blog again. We'll see what the next few years hold...

Overwhelmed and tired...

I think this past week is catching up wtih me. I am having migraines again, and not getting enough sleep. I am just plain overwhelmed.

THEN, Jason got home this afternoon, and he had cut off his mustache...that he's had since we first got married almost 16 years ago. I cried. I still can't believe he cut it off.

So, in honor of my emotional wreck, I am going to go to bed.

G'night!

Wrapping up the week

This week has been quiet.

I think I could get used to this having my kids home. They're keeping the laundry caught up, and the dishes washed, and the house picked up. It's an amazing thing!

Yesterday two of the girls were invited to a birthday party/pool party here in our neighborhood. That's one really nice thing here is that there are a ton of kids for them to play with.

We've also had sick kids this week....just a fever and tiredness...2 days on the couch, taking Motrin, and they're up and away again.

Last night was the last games for one of my husband's softball teams. Tonight is the last one for the other team. I have a friend who is moving tonight and tomorrow, so I am going to help move some things tonight, and then come home and pick up the kids to go watch the last games.

This weekend is drill weekend, so Jason will be gone all day tomorrow, too, for work. Our oldest has a doctor's appointment on Saturday morning, too, so it looks like I won't be going to Ladies' Brew Group on Saturday morning.

The next couple of weeks are going to be a little busy, with plans for July 4th and then Women of Faith in DC. Anyone else going to be there? I can't wait!! Last time I got to go to Women of Faith was in Billings, MT, two years ago. It was extremely refreshing. I need refreshing right now!

Well, work is calling...better get back at it! What are your plans for the weekend?

They deserve each other

Have you ever noticed that cats KNOW things?

Somehow, they always KNOW who is allergic to them.

They also KNOW who is just NOT a cat-fan.

They KNOW these things, and INTENTIONALLY try to be all lovey to those particular people.

This beautiful tortoiseshell is my husband's cat. HE picked her out. HE brought her home, supposedly as a Christmas present for the children.

However, SHE has decided that she doesn't like him. RATHER, she likes ME.

It should be noted that I do not care for cats. I think they are great to keep around as a deterrent to rodents and to catch and kill cockroaches. I think that cats should be outside animals, and should earn their keep. I happen to think the same for dogs...but I digress...

This cat has decided that it is her mission in life to make me like her. She climbs up and sleeps with ME, on MY side of the bed. She rubs on MY legs all throughout the day. She comes to ME if she is hungry, or lonely, or if the 6-year-old is pestering her.

My husband claims that this is MY cat. I am very adament. She is NOT mine. I don't care what he thinks. I don't care what the danged cat thinks. He deserves her, and she most definitely deserves him.

Zonked Out

THIS is what happens after a week of 3:00 am rising and softball practice until 11:00 pm.

Isn't he just adorable all curled up there?

I LOVE YOU, Honey!

Thank you for your hard work!

Life goes on....

...even when I miss a day of posting, and can't keep up with my house. Here, in the midst of things, I am adjusting my thinking.

I have the amazing ability to be overwhelmed with the smallest of things, and my life is not filled with just small things. Every day is crazy, and I still haven't succeeded in paring things down to a more manageable level. We HAVE cut out a few things, and it helps....but the biggest help so far has been changing my perspective...and talking it all out with my husband.

I am learning contentment with my life in this stage...because it WILL pass quickly. I am remembering that my life can (and has been) MUCH worse, and I am very grateful for every thing we have the opportunity to be involved in.

I am grateful that my kids have the opportunity to do baseball/softball...the fact that they can means that we had the money to pay for it all.

I am grateful for our church, and all the opportunities to be involved...for the Men's Brew Group, because that means that my husband has guys he can talk to and be accountable to. And, for the Women's Brew Group, because they're an awesome bunch of ladies who are encouraging and supportive, and I am making some amazing friends. And, for the Children's Ministry...because this is something I am proud my kids can be part of....

I am grateful for my house...that we're in military housing, because that means that I don't ever have to worry about us getting evicted over not paying the rent....or getting the electricity turned off...or the garbage not being picked up...or the repairs not being made.....

I am grateful for the vehicles we have....which are steadily getting paid off...relatively painlessly!

I am grateful for my hardworking husband, and all of my wonderful children.

And THAT is my perspective for today....now, I have to go work!!

Happy Birthday, Love of my life!

I LOVED that long curly hair.

October, 1992

God has been SO good to us!

October, 2006

I will always love you!

February, 2007

You're a GREAT Dad to your kids!

August, 2007

You're hardworking and consciencious. I'm proud to be your wife.

March, 2008

Random Dribbles from my Caffiene Deprived Brain

I'm only on my first cup of coffee for the day. I fear I am going to have to make a second pot, though. I woke up this morning, rather reluctantly, when my alarm went off at 6:30...My body does not want to be up. I hurt all over. At least I don't have a headache...small blessings. Our Brew Group last night was at the church offices. The brand new church offices. With STINKY plug-ins all over the place. THAT is why I hurt all over. Why my body refuses to respond to commands from my head. I do NOT understand why people insist on having those things. They are terrible, horrible, no good, very bad....they make every joint and muscle hurt, they cause my brain to go fuzzy on me, they usually give me migraines. They also affect me for at least the next day....I am ultra-sensitive to touch, I can't wear my contacts, I can't put on purfume, my ability to tolerate noise goes WAY down (very important in a small townhouse with 6 other people!). Adding to my list of pet peeves (see here) are DOCTOR'S offices that use those things. How STUPID can you get? There is this thing called olefactory fatigue....it's the phenomenon that happens when you walk into a place, say, a bar with cigarette smoke, and it really bothers you, but you stay. And, say 10 to 30 minutes later, you can't even smell the cigarette smoke. THAT is olefactory fatigue. Now, back to the doctor's office with the stinkies plugged/stuck around the place. Doctors and nurses depend on their noses...as well as the rest of their senses....to tell them things about their patients. When those stinky things are in their offices, covering up other smells, how can we trust that doctor's nose to not be "fatigued"? Okay, end of rant. I can tell I am going to have to go on crusade to get rid of the stinkies in yet another church office. I have found another business I would like to try from home. I still haven't heard anything back from the girl I had applied with to do transcription. Hopefully soon. I really want to do that! However, in the mean time, I have found a franchise opportunity that I can do from home! All I am doing is selling advertising...for a site for Moms! How exciting is that? Need more info, though....going to try calling today. In the mean time, I am still trying my hand at one other business...though I am not so sure it is something I want to keep doing....I don't like doing phone calls to people about a business opportunity....it's one thing to call a place of business. It's a whole 'nother ball of wax to be calling people at home. NOT something I enjoy...but I am determined to give it a good shot, anyway. I like the business....I LOVE their products. I just hate calling people. Tonight, the oldest starts a class at our church offices. This is a class on comparing religions. Should be interesting. I'd love to take it....but 5 other children won't let me. I'm hoping to get the others into AWANA starting tonight. It's been long enough...and I need a reason to not be home at that time of night (see the above paragraph). When I talked to hubby last night, he said that he's pretty much finished with turn-over....he'll be in the background today, if the new guy has any questions, but he's done. Tomorrow he has off. Friday is his Hail and Farewell. Saturday and Sunday are drill....unless they let him leave early...then maybe he can drive out of Montana on Sunday! Yippee!!! I am SO ready for him to be HERE!!! Before he arrives here, though, he has to drive thru the snowy mid-west. Pray for safety for him on the roads, please!