We all have them...the morning when we D-R-A-G ourselves out of bed, stumble to the kitchen to start the coffee...only to realize that not only is there no milk left, but we forgot to get coffee last night, too. Ugh. I guess I'll start with tea today.
Sheesh. I really could *EASILY* go right back to bed now that the kids are all out the door to school. Unfortunately, there is way too much to do this week to even consider it. I'm sitting here trying to figure out how my "nice, quiet" summer without school has turned into this craziness.
I am preparing for Jason to get home for R&R (YIPPEE!!!!), going away with him for a few days, a wedding, friends coming, a farewell party for another friend, the end of school for the kids, and filling out paperwork for camps, as well as working. Yes, I am working again. From home, thank goodness...because there is no way I could finish everything else if I had to put in my time at some other address.
Okay...it is time to get back to work...washer and dryer running, dogs sleeping, another cuppa in hand...yeah, I believe I'm ready....
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Summer is coming!!
(who won't eat watermelon)...
CANTALOUPE!!
Another day older and....
...one day closer to seeing my honey!!
As our R&R approaches, I find myself making all sorts of plans, knowing that most of them will fall to the wayside. He has already made some plans for us (GET AWAY!! - so excited!), and he and two of our girls are to be in a wedding during that (very) short 15 days we get with him. The kids are excited, I'm excited....I'm sure he's excited, too.
Why do I dread it, then, if we are all so excited at the prospect of seeing honey/daddy for two whole weeks?!? I know one of the things I dread is the thought of his leaving again, and the sadness and turmoil that will follow. I dread 4 more months of not having him here. I dread the feeling of disconnection. I dread being *the* parent of the hour...supervising, planning, feeding, driving...doing it all alone again.
Ah, but meanwhile, the excitement is building...and I need to get busy on this messy house...
As our R&R approaches, I find myself making all sorts of plans, knowing that most of them will fall to the wayside. He has already made some plans for us (GET AWAY!! - so excited!), and he and two of our girls are to be in a wedding during that (very) short 15 days we get with him. The kids are excited, I'm excited....I'm sure he's excited, too.
Why do I dread it, then, if we are all so excited at the prospect of seeing honey/daddy for two whole weeks?!? I know one of the things I dread is the thought of his leaving again, and the sadness and turmoil that will follow. I dread 4 more months of not having him here. I dread the feeling of disconnection. I dread being *the* parent of the hour...supervising, planning, feeding, driving...doing it all alone again.
Ah, but meanwhile, the excitement is building...and I need to get busy on this messy house...
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Tuesday Ramblings
The kids are all dropped off at school...no one took the bus today. The oldest is not feeling well, but wanted to go to school anyway, because today is her day for her math class that she's doing so poorly in, and she needs to be there. Tomorrow is her AP English exam, so she'll have a chance to sleep after that is done.
This singly-parenting-while-married thing is hard. Juggling schedules for 6 kids and myself, and making time to be at the computer each and every time he might be able to get on and talk. I miss him so much. I feel a hole in my chest where he is supposed to be. I have a hard time sleeping. I never get enough sleep. I have a short fuse and a messy house...and no motivation to clean.
I feel alone. Since he's deployed as a GSA (by himself, not with a "unit" - between other sets of orders), we don't really have a built-in support system here for me and the kids. I am missing being in military housing with other spouses who could commiserate with me. I'm not really feeling the love from our church...mainly, I think, because we're not set up to deal with it. *I* was supposed to be the head of the military ministry, not the one needing the support...which means *I* get nothing. Oh, people ask how we are. What am I supposed to say?!? Usually, I'm okay. Because that's about where I am. Things are okay. We cope. We get the big stuff done. I want to think that things would be better if we had a really supportive church. How would I know...this is the first time we have done anything like this.
So, not only am I dealing with the deployment issues, but my heart is heavy for some friends who are hurting. Single parents struggling to make ends meet and feeling alone. Married friends dealing with marital issues. Friends working through stuff from their past. Parents hurting for their children. Children hurting for their parents. Today I'm feeling all of this as a weight on my chest.
The dog is outside barking because he wants to be inside. Last night we had to put up the baby gate to block him from getting to the cat box and picking out "treats." I want to hurl, thinking about that one.
I need to go to the pet store to get crickets for the leopard gecko.
I need to go to the grocery store...I feel like I spend half of my life there.
I need to go to the hardware store, with measurements in hand to price blinds...and closet doors.
I need someone to help put up new, or fix the old closet doors.
I need to paint the rails with the paint I bought last week.
I need to bathe the little dog.
I need to mow the yard.
I need to get on the treadmill.
I need to get in the shower and get ready for lunch with a friend.
I need to clean my kitchen, shampoo the carpet, clean my bedroom, scrub the bathrooms, do laundry.
I *want* to curl up with a mindless book somewhere and read and sleep. I want to be pampered. I want my husband home.
The promise of lunch beckons...must go.
This singly-parenting-while-married thing is hard. Juggling schedules for 6 kids and myself, and making time to be at the computer each and every time he might be able to get on and talk. I miss him so much. I feel a hole in my chest where he is supposed to be. I have a hard time sleeping. I never get enough sleep. I have a short fuse and a messy house...and no motivation to clean.
I feel alone. Since he's deployed as a GSA (by himself, not with a "unit" - between other sets of orders), we don't really have a built-in support system here for me and the kids. I am missing being in military housing with other spouses who could commiserate with me. I'm not really feeling the love from our church...mainly, I think, because we're not set up to deal with it. *I* was supposed to be the head of the military ministry, not the one needing the support...which means *I* get nothing. Oh, people ask how we are. What am I supposed to say?!? Usually, I'm okay. Because that's about where I am. Things are okay. We cope. We get the big stuff done. I want to think that things would be better if we had a really supportive church. How would I know...this is the first time we have done anything like this.
So, not only am I dealing with the deployment issues, but my heart is heavy for some friends who are hurting. Single parents struggling to make ends meet and feeling alone. Married friends dealing with marital issues. Friends working through stuff from their past. Parents hurting for their children. Children hurting for their parents. Today I'm feeling all of this as a weight on my chest.
The dog is outside barking because he wants to be inside. Last night we had to put up the baby gate to block him from getting to the cat box and picking out "treats." I want to hurl, thinking about that one.
I need to go to the pet store to get crickets for the leopard gecko.
I need to go to the grocery store...I feel like I spend half of my life there.
I need to go to the hardware store, with measurements in hand to price blinds...and closet doors.
I need someone to help put up new, or fix the old closet doors.
I need to paint the rails with the paint I bought last week.
I need to bathe the little dog.
I need to mow the yard.
I need to get on the treadmill.
I need to get in the shower and get ready for lunch with a friend.
I need to clean my kitchen, shampoo the carpet, clean my bedroom, scrub the bathrooms, do laundry.
I *want* to curl up with a mindless book somewhere and read and sleep. I want to be pampered. I want my husband home.
The promise of lunch beckons...must go.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Is it May already?!?
Life sure does have a way of getting the way of things like writing!! I signed in today, and realized that it has been more than a month since I wrote on here. Meanwhile, I finished another semester of grad school (Yay, me!!), with its accompanying bjillion papers, projects, and exams. We survived Spring Break for the kids...and have only six more weeks of school before they are out for the summer and we are preparing for Dad's R&R. Now things are picking up with kids' spring/summer activities. We have Scouts Venturing camp-outs and meetings, baseball practice and games, and end-of-the-school-year activities, the biggest of which, so far, is the Ring Dance for eldest daughter...
So, in honor of Ring Dance...PICTURES!!!
Isn't she beautiful?!? I can't believe she is a Junior already..and that next year we'll be visiting colleges!!
So, in honor of Ring Dance...PICTURES!!!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Contentment
I was talking in class the other day about where I am, personally, with my spiritual life, professional life, and personally/emotionally. I said something that (I *think*) probably had most of the 20-somethings in the class scratching their heads. I know it has me scratching *MY* head...
We have been doing this active-duty military nomadic lifestyle now for 10-ish years. Prior to that, we moved. A LOT. Granted, that moving was within about a 50 mile radius, but we moved. I think I've figured out that in our 18 years of marriage we have moved something like 16 or 17 times. After a while, it gets in your blood.
Given that, you would think that I like change. Not so much. I like structure and stability.
So, let's review.
Moving = change =/= structure and stability.
And Laura does not like change.
So, how did I find these words coming out of my mouth?!?
"I see change in my future, and I am okay with that."
Whuck?!?
Even moreso, I said, "I see us moving again in the not-too-distant future, and I am okay with that, too."
HUH?!?
Where did this come from?
We *just* moved into a house that we BOUGHT...that is monumental. We have been living in rentals F-O-R-E-V-E-R. I like having my own house. I like being able to plant things in the yard. And not worrying about the "housing police" fussing about how many cars were parked in our driveway/yard/street. And being able to make plans to rip up the carpet and put in hardwood.
Something snuck up on me while I wasn't looking...this thing called contentment.
This is not contentment with the status quo. Been there. Don't like that.
This is not contentment to stay planted in one place. Remember the whole moving thing?
This is something vastly different. Something I am still processing. Something that makes me wonder what happened to me in the last few weeks that changed my perception of my world.
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Phil. 4:11
We have been doing this active-duty military nomadic lifestyle now for 10-ish years. Prior to that, we moved. A LOT. Granted, that moving was within about a 50 mile radius, but we moved. I think I've figured out that in our 18 years of marriage we have moved something like 16 or 17 times. After a while, it gets in your blood.
Given that, you would think that I like change. Not so much. I like structure and stability.
So, let's review.
Moving = change =/= structure and stability.
And Laura does not like change.
So, how did I find these words coming out of my mouth?!?
"I see change in my future, and I am okay with that."
Whuck?!?
Even moreso, I said, "I see us moving again in the not-too-distant future, and I am okay with that, too."
HUH?!?
Where did this come from?
We *just* moved into a house that we BOUGHT...that is monumental. We have been living in rentals F-O-R-E-V-E-R. I like having my own house. I like being able to plant things in the yard. And not worrying about the "housing police" fussing about how many cars were parked in our driveway/yard/street. And being able to make plans to rip up the carpet and put in hardwood.
Something snuck up on me while I wasn't looking...this thing called contentment.
This is not contentment with the status quo. Been there. Don't like that.
This is not contentment to stay planted in one place. Remember the whole moving thing?
This is something vastly different. Something I am still processing. Something that makes me wonder what happened to me in the last few weeks that changed my perception of my world.
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Phil. 4:11
Monday, March 7, 2011
I went to visit my honey...
Long flights.
New places to see.
Different foods to sample.
New friends to make.
The best Spring Break EVER.
Now I'm home, and I miss my honey.
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