Things I Wish I had Known Before I Had Children

I love my kids.  Never doubt that.

Photo credits to Jimmy Sadler

There ARE times when I fantasize about what life would be like in a smaller, less-hectic household.  Those are the times when I think of the things I *SHOULD HAVE* thought through prior to having children.

• Not getting enough sleep.  EVER. AGAIN.  Because those babies want to eat...all.the.time.  And those toddlers will be up at ungodly hours in the morning, after keeping you up all night long barfing.  And the middle schoolers and high schoolers have activities in the evening, and then have to be up again in the morning.  Early.  To get on the bus, or be driven to school (and God-forbid I drive them in my PJs!).  And jobs.  And middle-of-the-night phone calls from college.  And by that point, my body is just in the habit of *not* sleeping, so of course now that I *might* be able to sleep in...I can't.  
• Cooking.  All.The.Time.  For some reason they insist on eating three meals per day every day...multiply that times approximately 30 years, and I will have cooked WAY more than I ever thought possible by the time they all graduate to doing all of their own cooking.  
• Laundry.  Multiply 13 loads per week, at least, times 52 weeks per year, times at least 20 years. 
• Heartache.  Everyone gets sucked in by the mesmerizing baby-scent.  And you love that baby...and then it grows up.  Or doesn't.  And there is the heartache of childhood illness, and mistreatment in school by bullies, or teachers who don't understand, or lack of financial resources, and the child's broken heart over that first or second or third romantic interest...and for some reason no one ever explained that the heartaches just got bigger as the child grew more independent, or that the young adult years would be harder than all of the baby and toddler years combined.

The joy of having a large family, and the love that is multiplied is amazing, and I wouldn't trade it for anything...But is there someone I can complain to about that whole "informed consent" thing?  I REALLY didn't know what I was getting into here!! 

Summer time...

...and the kids are driving me crazy. They all are feeling severely deprived of their school friends. They MUST spend every available moment at their friends' homes, having sleep-overs, parties, play dates, time at the pool, playing on the slip-n-slides. THEY are having a BLAST this summer!

I am, however, fighting a losing battle with each and every one of them, every day. I am DETERMINED that we WILL get the house picked up and the bathrooms and kitchen cleaned, EVERY DAY. For some reason, those 13 loads of laundry per week (or more right now, since we're going through copious amounts of towels and bathing suits) do not wash or dry themselves, and certainly do not fold themselves up and walk up to their respective homes.

So, I get to be the mean mom. I grounded my eldest from her Facebook page (yeah, I finally gave in and let her have one...). They are all MINE until after lunch. Oh, and the oldest is taking an AP class this summer...she is going to be glad I am making her work on it now, instead of waiting until that last week before heading back to school!!

Meanwhile, I am in denial about how much summer we have left...no school shopping here yet. I'm not even thinking about it...though I *do* have my lists hanging right there on my bulletin board above my desk...just ignoring it for now!

Recap of my week

You know those times, the ones you are sure you'll look back on with relief that they are over with?

I've had one of THOSE weeks. Unfortunately, the problems that have arisen are not yet completed. Legal problems. Problems concerning my son's safety.

In a nutshell, my oldest son (the 12 year old) was attacked by some neighborhood boys one afternoon this week after he got off the bus. He is still hurting. He's nervous about riding the bus again.

We've been in contact with the police.
We've been in contact with the school.
Investigations are ongoing.

I've spent a lot of time on the phone, and have stressed a lot over my son's safety. I am still unsure as to our next step...besides the one that says wait...wait until Monday. Wait until I can discuss this further with my husband, when he's back in town.

Oh, yeah...that's the other thing that's happened this week...

This very special man in my life has accomplished something BIG...He's graduated, again. With his Master's degree in Business Management. He flew to Chicago yesterday, and drove out to the campus for the Hooding Ceremony and Graduation today. I'm SO SO SO proud of him!!

So, my friends, please forgive my quiet week on this blog. It has been anything BUT quiet in my house, let me tell you...which would probably explain my lack of posting.

Oh, AND we celebrated Miss Thang's 5th birthday....
and I worked...
and did 19,000 loads of laundry....
and baked cookies....
and birthday cupcakes....
and attended Holiday concerts at two different schools...
and Women's Ministry meetings....
and youth group Christmas parties...

AND that would probably explain the lack of Christmas decorations in my house, as well....
MUST go decorate!!!

Hope your week has been less hectic than mine!!

What a day in my life *really* looks like...

As I was going about my day today, I started thinking about what it takes to maintain life in my household. Not necessarily sanity...I'm convinced that is a lost cause.

I am often amazed that people think that life with a large family is unthinkable. They think that it must take a special person to handle it. Obviously they've not followed me through my days. I am NOT special. I am very average. Average height. Average weight (more than is good for me!). Average educational level. Average. Average. Average.

Then, this morning it hit me. The math. THAT is what people have trouble with.
The eight people in the house.
Which means 7 beds.
And at least 16 sets of clothing every day.
Which adds up to at least 2 loads of laundry, every day (which is why, on any given day, Mt. Laundry IS going to blow!).

The eight place settings at the table.
At every meal.
Which we usually manage AT LEAST 3 of those as SIT DOWN TOGETHER meals, per week.
Which adds up in terms of food.
Like the stew I made this morning.
1 1/2 pounds of stew meat.
1 pound of carrots.
5 pounds of potatoes.
There's a little bit left over...but then Jason and the two oldest kids didn't eat at home tonight.
Milk...3-5 gallons per week.
Cereal...at least one box per day. (We quit buying in boxes...they're too small).
Eggs...one dozen at a time.
Bread...sandwiches for everyone requires one whole loaf.

The sheer overwhelming numbers of activities.
School...3 in elementary school, 1 in middle school, 1 in high school, husband in grad school.
Church...
Small groups from church...women's group, men's group, military affiliated group
Marching Band.
Concert Band.
Middle School Band.
PTA activities.
Military community activities.


SO, my schedule today was fun...and I thought I'd throw it in, just so you get an idea....

4:00 a.m. Alarm goes off. I turn it off, shake the husband, and crawl back in bed.

5:00 a.m. Second alarm goes off. I turn it off, dress and wake up oldest child. Fix coffee, go for a walk.

6:00 a.m. Grab a cup of coffee and walk oldest daughter out to meet her bus (which picks her up at 6:10 a.m.).

6:30 a.m. Finish second cup of coffee, grab purse, keys, and list, to run to the grocery store for potatoes, carrots, milk, butter, bread. (had coffee on the list, too, but not enough $$).

7:00 a.m. Back from the store, put things away. Get the rest of the kids out of bed. Spend time doing emails, catching up on facebook, email lists, doing childrens' hair, motivating (yelling at) children. Also wash and cut up potatoes and carrots for the stew for supper, and saute the stew meat, then dump in the crockpot. Load dishwasher.

7:45 a.m. Out the door to wait with the 3 elementary-aged children for their bus, which supposedly arrives at 7:53 a.m. Chat with neighbors.

8:15 a.m. Suddenly remember I have a dental appt at 9:00....gotta MOVE.

8:30 a.m. Out of shower, kicking 12-year-old out to catch his bus...which supposedly arrives at 8:40 a.m. Let my work know when I'll be back.

8:45 a.m. Load 4-year-old in the van, complete with bag of toys, x-rays from dentist in MT, name and address of dentist in MT, and dental insurance card.

9:00 a.m. Pshew...I made it. I can relax and fill out myriads of paperwork, gag on the x-rays, and get my referral to an oral surgeon.

9:58 a.m. Home again, time to get busy on my WORK for the day! First get 4-year-old her snack, because she STARVING, MOMMY, STARVING!

12:00 p.m. Take a break from the computer long enough to fix sandwiches for myself and 4-year-old. Forget that I was supposed to go to gym.

12:40 p.m. Neighbor girl shows up, reminding me that we were supposed to go to the gym at 12:30. Change clothes and head out for 30 minute workout.

1:45 p.m. Home again, and back to work. Started load of clothes.

3:00 p.m. Oldest child home...snack time!!

3:30 p.m. The elementary school bunch gets home.

4:00 p.m. The middle schooler is home.

4:30 p.m. Jason walks in, updates me on things, and leaves again, taking the oldest two with him (he's dropping the oldest off at her school for marching band performance at the football game, and taking the 12-year-old with him to his two softball games.).

5:00 p.m. The 4 left at home go out to play, leaving mom inside to have some peace and quiet.

6:00 p.m. Start gathering everyone in for supper. Get all the riding stock put away in the garage.

7:30 p.m. Supper is done, kids are in PJs. It's movie night...tonight we watched Cars.

9:30 p.m. Movie is done, kids get in bed. I leave to go pick up oldest from Marching Band. Home, feed her (more...she also ate at the game), start another load of laundry.

There's my day. I'm exhausted. I don't think I could cram one more thing in there, today. Maybe another day...but I don't know.

I LOVE having a big family. I can't imagine it any other way. But some days? I just want some sleep!!!

Plans, and things that interfere

I had a good plan for this week. I was going to be getting back to my normal posting schedule...but my brain interfered, as have a few others of importance...Jason, Frances, Jon, Heather, Justin, Leah, Katherine....and work. And house cleaning. And attempting to get rid of those ugly migraines.

So, my house is getting back to a little better level of control.
And we're eating MEALS again.
And I'm getting caught up on the laundry.

But I still have to find a dentist...because I'm a grump when my mouth hurts.
And I still have to get a referral to my counselor.
And I HAVE TO get some more sleep...I'm doing better, really. BUT, my body still wants to shut down on me (as does my head).
And feeling like I'm falling apart is NOT my idea of a good week....

So, HOPEFULLY, tomorrow, I'll have a post of some substance.

I hope.

Thank you for sticking by me, my lovelies...I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your loyalty.

I am EXHAUSTED

I never realized how tiring it is to sit at my desk all day long, doing nothing more than typing, editing and emailing, and taking breaks to take care of the four year old, do laundry, run the dishwasher, meet the school bus to get the 6 year old, feed the cat, pick up the house, fix lunch....

I.am. wiped.OUT.

Thankfully, it is raining outside, and has been rainging since Friday night. The baseball fields are big mud puddles. All of the Opening Day activities were cancelled on Saturday. Today's practices were cancelled. I know the games will be rescheduled, but for now, I'm grateful. I needed the relatively slow day!

It's almost midnight, and I still have a TON of work to do....headed back to work...miss you guys!!

***And in other, terribly important news, Kansas accomplished an upset in the final game of the NCAA Championship. The husband changed it from my movie so he could watch it, and promptly fell asleep again. The most unfair part? He WILL KNOW who won, and what the final score was...and he was SNORING! How does he do that?!?!***

It was SUPPOSED to be a productive day...

...and then I got up. Honestly, I am looking around my house right now, and can't for the life of me figure out what I've done over the last few days. My house is a WRECK.

I KNOW I have washed dishes everyday, but they're all piled up on the counter again.

I know we've done multiple loads of laundry, and put away mountains of folded laundry, but the hampers are all overflowing and the sofa is covered in clean laundry again.

We've picked up and cleaned up, and put away, and washed, and dried, and folded, and swept, and taken out garbage, and done homework, and made it to baseball practices, and gone to the grocery store, and gotten everyone on their respective busses on time, and worked, and cooked meals, and eaten meals, and gone to various meetings....

....but somehow, if someone walked into my house right now, you'd never know that I cared about how it looks. No one could tell that we picked up several trees' worth of paper off the dining room floor, or that the whole alphabet has been put back onto the refrigerator 15 different times. Or that the pantry and refrigerator have been systematically emptied by the voracious beasts in my house.

Is it any wonder that mothers feel unappreciated? That we don't ever have the satisfaction of a job well done...especially since the job never is done, or once done, it is UNdone again in about 10 seconds flat....

So, for the record, I want you moms out there to know...I appreciate what you do. I appreciate all the long hard hours you put in. The lack of proper acknowledgement.

So, go, reward yourself. Go find those chocolates you hid away, make yourself a cup of hot tea or coffee, sit back, put your feet up, and remeber that you've earned your 10 minutes of rest and relaxation. But hurry, before the hooligans get off the bus, and you have to start all over again!!

Help! Mount Laundry is going to explode!

My laundry is taking over the house again....I HAVE to get that under control. Unfortunately, there are also a few other things that are helping contribute to the general "lived-in" look of the house. First, I got my Melaleuca order yesterday....I have boxes and cleaning supplies all over the floor in the living room. Second, there are school things all over the table in the dining room. Finally, because all this stuff is all over the place, I haven't had a chance to sweep the floor all week. Oh, and I still have things to unpack.... Just chatted with hubby...seems that our cell-phone bill is astronomical this month...we went over our HUGE amount of minutes, by more than 800 minutes. YIPES! We're going to have to make some changes, so that doesn't happen any more. I'm looking into getting a land-line, so we can have something besides the cell-phones. We can't keep doing $500+ phone bills!! I had to send a note to school with #3 today...seems the teacher gave them a choice of books to read.... Goosebumps or Harry Potter. In our house, neither one is acceptable. Hopefully, she'll let me choose an alternative. I'm thinking, either the Chronicles of Narnia, or something by Frank Piretti. Okay, back to laundry and house cleaning....

Pet Peeves

****Since this is gonna be a whiney post, take note now. If you don't *do* whining, don't read this.**** Starting off the new year right, by airing my pet peeves now, so people know where I stand. Dirty landry on the floor, when there's a perfectly good hamper to put it in...and not even full, I might add. And, if by some coincidence, your hamper is full, EMPTY IT!!! Dirty dishes left all over the house. This is our new house....er...apartment/townhouse....who knows. It's new to us. AND, I might point out, there is BRAND NEW carpet on the floors upstairs. We have laid down the rules...NO FOOD upstairs. Period. Not even for mom and dad. So, why am I finding glasses, cups, bowls, etc., upstairs? Obviously we need to review the rules. Toys all over the place. All. The. Time. Second house rule. Toys are to be PUT AWAY when you are finished playing with them. Immediately. Again, rule review time. Virginia drivers. They're CRAZY!! Driving home from Curves this morning, I was in the midst of coming to a stop at a RED light, when flying right by me comes this little car with a guy definitely intent on killing himself, and several other people in the process....I mean, the speed limit was 45, and the light was RED, and he ahd to be going at least 55 when he buzzed right thru that RED light. Fortunately, the people coming the other direction were paying a lot more attention that he was. We've also been cut off...more times than I care to count (and we've only been here a little over a month!)...not just from the lane directly beside us, but coming from *3* lanes over, attempting to get off on the exit directly to our left. Crazy, I tell you, CRAZY!! People who expound on things about which they know absolutely nothing. 'Nuff said. People who steal from stores, other people, their place of business, etc....I worked for 3 years at Walmart. People who steal from Walmart....okay, at least the ones I experienced...are nuts. Like we can't tell what they're doing. Or somehow they aren't being watched on the 90 million cameras that are on, all the time, all over those stores. While I was working at Walmart, a kid (12-14 years old) was caught leaving the store with 2 bottles of $50+ weight-loss medicine. Never mind that he had no need of this....he was stealing it. He was caught. His mother was called. She came, and was overheard severely castigating her son...."I told you never to steal anything worth more than $10.00!" WHAT?!?!?!?? This mother was basically telling her son that it was okay to steal, as long as it wasn't too expensive, and/or he didn't get caught. That is one parent you really want to slap...and then throw in jail, herself. Oh, and don't think that this stealing doesn't affect you because it's not you doing it. If you're not stealing from the stores you shop with, I applaud you. Thank you. But realize that those people that ARE stealing ARE affecting you. THEY cause prices to be raised, to compensate for the losses that the store is suffering. Oh, and those grumpy cashiers....they just had a really bad day, because of that kid stealing from the store. He just cut their bonuses in half. Give them a break! People who ask stupid questions, or make stupid comments. "Are they all yours?" No, I go pick kids up off of street corners, and bring them home. What do you think?!? "Don't you know where they come from?" We sure do...and we LIKE IT! If you get your parents permission, we'll let you in on it, too! "You sure have your hands full." As opposed to what? I could have 1 kid or 2 kids, and have my hands full...having 6 kids does NOT make me some kind of super-woman, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I am HUMAN. I have bad days. I still love my kids, and no freaking way am I going to choose between them, to figure out which one I'd rather keep in some ficticious scenario. Stopping there....I'm sure that's WAY more than you'd rather know about my pet peeves....