Life on the Move, and Finding a Church

As a military family, we have moved a LOT.

"Home" is in South Carolina.
That's where our families are.
That is where we were married and lived for the first 8 years of our marriage.
That is where 2/3 of our children were born.




But then, the Navy...yes, Jason IS a reservist.  AND he is active duty.  Welcome to my confusing life.

And "A" school in Meridian, MS (The kids and I were still in SC).






And two homes in Portland, TX...because we added another child!










And two homes in Helena, MT...because we added another child!







And two homes in Virginia Beach, VA...because we bought a house!






And ONE home in Bedford/Lincoln/Lexington, MA.






Of course, prior to Jason going active duty in the Navy, we moved a LOT, also.
We were in a trailer in Gaston, SC for a couple of months...
...stayed with Jason's parents in SC for a month or two...
...an apartment in Columbia, SC for a couple of months...
...9 months renting a house in Due West, SC...
...6 weeks house-sitting...
...about a year in a make-shift house outside of Columbia...
...about 2 years in a duplex in Columbia...
...about 2 years in a trailer outside of Columbia...
...about 3 years in the house we built in Gilbert, SC...
...and six months at my brother's house in Edgefield, SC.

That is a total of 17 different places our family has lived in 22 years of marriage.

All of that moving has meant that we have had a LOT of neighbors (howdy, good neighbor!), and been part of a number of churches...and have many friends from all of them.

West Columbia Evangelical (now named Augusta Street Church) was home for 7 years.
Calvary Chapel of Greenwood, SC was where we attended for the time we lived in Due West, SC.
In Texas, we went to Calvary Chapel Coastlands for about a year, and then to New Community Church in Portland for the remainder of our time in TX.
In Montana, we were happy to quickly find Hannaford Bible Church, and attended there for all of the 4 1/2 years we lived there.
In Virginia Beach, we were part of Reality Church for 7 years, and then at Tabernacle Church in Norfolk, VA for a year.
Now we are part of Grace Chapel, in Lexington, MA.

Even though we have been far from our biological family, God has provided His family for us in many different places, and during some very difficult years, and we are grateful.

If there is one thing I would tell any nomadic family (be it military, missionary, or otherwise), I would STRONGLY urge you to find a good church family.  That family will be who walks with you through transitions, and who provides support and encouragement during those times when your family-of-origin cannot be with you.

Of course, finding a church family that feels like home is not always easy.  Different areas of the country have different expectations and cultures within their churches, and you may have difficulty finding a church that fits your family, or that fits your expectations of how church is "supposed to" look.

A few tips on finding a church in a new area:

1. Pray.  Ask God to guide you to where He wants you to be.

2. List.  Make a list of what you need to have in a church.  Theology?  Affiliation with a particular denomination? Programs for kids? A good choir? Men's/Women's ministry?

3. Pray some more.

4. Google.  Using your list, go find websites for churches in your area.  Look at their "What We Believe" section, the programs they offer, who they are affiliated with.

5. Pray over the churches you find that fit your criteria.

6. Visit the churches...plan to attend each church for at least two Sundays, and as many other meetings as you can get to during that time period.


7.  Pray some more...keep asking God for His guidance.

If you find a church that feels/seems right, visit it for another couple of weeks to months, making sure that it is the right place for you.  Plug into small groups, get involved in learning about the way this body of believers does life together, make connections with people.  A good church is not just about theology and programs...a good church provides a place for people to connect with God and with each other.

So Long, and thanks for all the....

...Good wishes!


We had a GREAT time tonight with 70+ people at our house for Jason's farewell party.


It was a TON of fun.

Great friends.

Good food.

Great conversation.


Lots of good wishes.

And prayers for the next year.

I am SO very thankful for my church family!!

Of mice and men...

...or How the Military can mess with your plans.

First off, grad school is looking less and less overwhelming, as the days pass, and especially so after this last weekend of playing catch-up. I am no longer BEHIND, and finally feel like I actually might be able to keep up. Believe me, this is a BEAUTIFUL thing!!

Today is the second day of school for the kids for the year. Everyone survived their first day back, and mom and dad survived signing away the forests of Virginia...seriously, how many reams of paper did they just waste to send all of that crap home....and that was just for MY children. Oh, but my house was SO nice and quiet yesterday. I got a LOT accomplished!!

My work schedule has had to be adjusted, of late, to accommodate the addition of classes to the schedule. It also means (*ahem*) that my husband thinks he can just add things for me to do, on a whim, and because I work from home I *should* be able to just go and do, at his bidding. Yeah, that creates a little tension in our house from time to time.

Yesterday he called me up to ask if I was *free* at 1:00 tomorrow (today). He is almost at the end of his tour with his current command, and there is to be an awards ceremony this afternoon, and the command wants me to attend. Of course, I said I could be there...I want to be supportive of him!!

But, this end-of-command brings up the real change of plans. The end of one set of orders means the beginning of another. Which means transition. Change. I don't do change...or rather, I don't LIKE change. And this one is a doozie. Jason is separating from this command on the 15th, and will have approximately a month off, after which he reports to his new command, to head out for training before leaving for what is affectionately (*insert sarcasm font*) known as the sandbox. For a year.

Now, I know a lot of people who have been down this route repeatedly. And lived through it. And their families survived. But the last time Jason was deployed was 8 years ago - and that was only for four months. I'm out of practice. And I'm more than a little nervous.

There's a LOT to deal with on the homefront, when there are as many people in the house as we have. It would be NICE to have a second driver while he's gone....but the oldest is terrified of driving, even though she could have gotten her license way back in February. And she is in marching band...which means practices and competitions and football games. And the next two are in band at the middle school....and one is going to be in the Art Club. And then there are activities for the three in elementary school.

Plus, Frances is still dealing with the numbness in her arms and hands, and after a year the doctors still haven't figured out why. All they can tell us is that her nerves are healthy, and everything looks normal. So we have periodic doctors' visits, more testing, and twice-weekly physical therapy appointments.

And then there is my school. And work. And church. See why I'm a little nervous about his leaving? There's only one of me. And there is enough to keep two or three of us busy. And even for all of my advertising and begging, no one has found my clone, or stepped forward to offer their services as my administrative assistant (volunteer position, of course!).

So, that leaves me in the same place as many other military spouses...preparing for being a married single parent, and not knowing how I'm going to be able to do it. I know that I have wonderful friends, and a GREAT church family, and I KNOW that I can call on them for emergencies, and they'll rally. The emergencies are not what concern me so much. It's the dailiness that gets to me. The trying to figure out how to juggle everything, without dropping any of the important stuff. (which is already happening - who am I kidding...I forget stuff ALL the time...even if it IS written in my day planner!).

So, now I am off...I have work to get done before heading to his awards ceremony. And laundry. And dishes. You know...all of those things that have to get done anyway....

Beating Depression

I have discussed before the long battle I have had with depression. So when someone talks about ways to beat it, I listen. Thankfully, I'm not there right now...I intend to stay out of there.

Our pastor recently spoke about "How to Cheat and Win (over Depression)." You can listen to the whole message at http://www.realitychurchmedia.com/ and go to the How series.

I took some notes I wanted to share.

HOW TO: Cheat and Win (Over Depression)

Causes of depression are:
loss
rejection
insecurity
lack of fulfillment
uncertainty
meaninglessness

Elijah was depressed because
1. He was physically exhausted.
2. He was emotionally exhausted.
3. He had stinking thinking.

Steps to winning over depression:
I. Healing of relational environment
A. We are relational - we NEED relationships
-we need the right kind of friends
-we need mentoring relationships
B. Family relationships need to be fixed
Matthew 5:23-24

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."

II. We need to heal our whole person.
A. Healing the physical body - good food, enough sleep, etc.
B. Spiritual healing is necessary and most often neglected.
C. Mental/Emotional healing - destressing, etc.


5 Secrets to address the Spiritual side:
1. Know your meaning/purpose in life
Ephesians 1:11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,

2. Serving - giving to others is healing
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

3. Forgiving - unforgiveness causes depression
Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

4. Connect with God
I Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

5. Eradicating the guilt
James 1:14-15 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.


I learned several things from this lesson. I learned that I had to change the way I think...what God calls "renewing your mind" because the things that happen in my brain are tainted by hurts suffered in the past, and things other people have told me...otherwise known as stinking thinking

I have to reconnect with God regularly because that stinking thinking sneaks up on me when I am not keeping Him at the center of my life.

I have to forgive those who have hurt me and taught me wrong.

I have to be actively involved in helping others.

I have to let God heal those hurting places in me, and take away the guilt and pain.